Chapter 112

Jiang Yi had deduced much, Yan Yiming’s identity, her purpose, and he was almost never wrong. But some truths were not as he had imagined.
A person like him, who always planned meticulously, would invariably prepare for the worst-case scenario, especially when it came to anything related to Yan Yiming.
He knew Yan Yiming had to ensure the safety of several people so she could return to where she wanted to go. But he didn’t know she still had half a year left. The moment he rescued her and told her everyone was safe, his heart was clenched tight.
Yan Yiming might disappear from his side in the very next second.
So, in a moment of uncontrollable panic, he asked just like that.
“Everyone is safe, and your goal has finally been achieved. So, are you finally going to leave?”
Before Yan Yiming could shake off the damp, chilly air of the prison, she was stunned by these words, her entire expression frozen in disbelief.
Only when everyone was safe could she return home. Why... did Jiang Yi know?
“Surprised that I know?” Jiang Yi chuckled, pulling out a pomelo leaf from somewhere. “You always speak so cautiously, afraid of giving anything away.”
“Though you're innocent, the prison is no place to linger. Let this cleanse you and bring peace,” he said softly, gently brushing the pomelo leaf over her shoulders. “You tried so hard to be careful, but the more you did, the more clues you inadvertently revealed. Later, when you risked everything to save Jian Yuyan and the Crown Prince, how could I not figure it out?”
“So, you already knew back when I saved the Crown Prince?” Yan Yiming's heart wavered as she looked up at him.
“A little earlier than that,” Jiang Yi replied, tucking away the pomelo leaf and draping his outer robe over her shoulders before leading her toward the palace gates. “When Jian Yuyan came to me and revealed all of Chancellor Jian's schemes, I realized you were the 'A’Ming' he had been searching for. I had already guessed by then. I just never told you. I had planned to speak openly with you after the matter with Chancellor Jian was fully resolved, about your purpose and when you would leave.”
A strange unease coiled in Yan Yiming's heart. Her hand, held in Jiang Yi's, instinctively twitched as she tried to pull away. But Jiang Yi only shifted his grip, interlacing their fingers more firmly. Yan Yiming struggled briefly but couldn't break free, so she let him hold on. “But you didn't expect the Crown Prince to be taken hostage by Chancellor Jian.”
“Mm,” Jiang Yi hummed, his gaze fixed on the gray, overcast sky as he concealed the complex emotions on his face. “I never thought His Majesty would be so ruthless, nor did I anticipate the Crown Prince being held captive, allowing Chancellor Jian and his followers to flee to Changzhou. Of course, I also failed to keep you here. But at that time... I was strangely relieved that the Crown Prince's fate remained unknown.”
Yan Yiming's breath hitched, but Jiang Yi continued walking as if discussing the most mundane of matters. “Because you had to ensure his safety. As long as he remained in danger, you would stay one more day. But, A’Ming, can you guess how I felt after you left?”
“I have the ability to protect myself,” Yan Yiming said, her voice lacking conviction. “And I could safely rescue the Crown Prince, so there was no need to worry...”
“I pleaded with His Majesty repeatedly to spare Princess Ming's life. Even if Chancellor Jian and the others couldn't escape, I could have ensured your safety.” Jiang Yi recalled the dull ache in his chest when his hidden guards reported that Princess Ming had deliberately avoided them and left without a trace. All the seemingly calm days since then had finally come to an end, and the unspoken truths he had buried and concealed were now laid bare.
He ignored Yan Yiming's evasive attempts, his clenched fist betraying the pain he suppressed.
I had prepared for everything, yet you left.
Not long ago, they had whispered intimately in the night, as close as could be. But in the blink of an eye, she had turned and walked away without a hint of attachment.
Leaving him not even the slightest chance.
After protecting the Crown Prince, she finally waited for reinforcements to arrive. Just as she was about to slip away quietly again, she ran into Shao Jingyu and had no choice but to stay once more.
Both attempts to leave had ended abruptly due to unforeseen circumstances. She remained here as if nothing had happened, eating and talking with him as usual. He never brought it up, and neither did she.
For so many days, Jiang Yi had waited, hoping Yan Yiming might mention it even once, perhaps tentatively asking what he would do if she were gone one day. But not even such words came.
Just like those two previous times, in an unguarded moment, she would vanish without a trace once again.
Perhaps tonight while he was fast asleep, or tomorrow while he was at court, leaving without a shred of attachment, disappearing completely and utterly.
Now, he had straightforwardly told Yan Yiming, “You can finally leave.” He mercilessly stripped away all pretense, revealing the truth, watching Yan Yiming grow increasingly silent and his heart sink deeper.
This was the worst-case scenario he had prepared for. His words inevitably contained some deliberate exaggeration, but in the end, Yan Yiming never refuted them.
Jiang Yi’s grip on Yan Yiming’s hand tightened uncontrollably. She could feel the pressure, and after a long pause, she heard his deep, icy voice:
“It seems I’ve guessed right again.”
Yan Yiming remained silent for a moment.
“Yes.” Jiang Yi was always unexpectedly sharp, but now she couldn’t say those words in the same teasing tone as before.
After a journey full of hardships, they finally returned to the capital. The Crown Prince was safe, and both Jiang Yi and Shao Jingyu would be rewarded for their merits. Only Jian Yu'er and Jian Yuyan, imprisoned elsewhere, remained.
As long as she could ensure their safety in the end, she would be free to leave.
Jiang Yi might take her back to his residence, but it didn’t matter. Once he fell asleep that night, she could slip away quietly, enjoy the winter snowscapes with Little A, wait for the peach blossoms next spring, and when the blossoms faded, open her eyes again to see the familiar world.
She waited for Jiang Yi to appear, waited for him to tell her that Jian Yuyan and Jian Yu'er were safe, and quietly breathed a sigh of relief.
But now, everything had been stripped away by Jiang Yi, laid bare and bloody before her eyes.
She was like an emotionless swindler, reciting sweet nothings to Jiang Yi as if in a play, only to deliver the deadliest blow.
A needle seemed to pierce her heart, the pain slowly spreading until her entire chest ached. Overwhelmed by an indescribable guilt, Yan Yiming instinctively took two steps back.
But she had forgotten her hand was still in Jiang Yi’s grasp. After retreating two steps, he pulled her back to his side.
“So your plan is for tonight, or tomorrow morning?” Jiang Yi asked her, his tone sounding almost casual.
Yan Yiming gritted her teeth, sidestepping the question. “Young Master, regardless of when, sooner or later, I will leave. I don't belong here.”
Jiang Yi remained silent.
Yan Yiming struggled to meet Jiang Yi's deep, penetrating gaze, wrestling with the unspeakable guilt in her heart. “I was afraid telling you would cause unnecessary trouble. I should have told you...”
Before she could finish, Jiang Yi abruptly cut her off. “Actually, it doesn't matter if you don't tell me.”
Jiang Yi had always listened to her quietly, this was the first time he had interrupted her so bluntly. Startled, Yan Yiming looked up and was surprised to find a faint smile on his face.
He was smiling, yet not quite, the gentle demeanor he usually wore had vanished completely, replaced by the same gloominess he had feigned days earlier when pretending to be angry. It felt utterly unfamiliar to her.
“It doesn't matter if you don't tell me,” Jiang Yi said.
Gentleness had always been his default attitude toward Yan Yiming. He couldn't bear to see her upset or troubled; even her frowns pained him. Yan Yiming liked him this way, so he had molded himself into the version she preferred. As long as it kept her by his side, as long as she remembered this tenderness and felt a hint of reluctance to leave, he would persist in being that person.
But it hadn't worked.
He hadn't managed to keep her, nor had he stirred even a trace of attachment in Yan Yiming. She had still chosen to abandon him, without so much as a farewell. He had believed that people were bound by emotions, that they could be moved, yet in the end, Yan Yiming remained entirely unmoved.
If he couldn't keep her, what use was gentleness?
All he wanted was to have her stay by his side.
The most reserved individuals are often the ones who suffer the most when their emotions finally shatter. Jiang Yi leaned close to Yan Yiming's ear and whispered softly,
“You don't need to feel sorry. Because from the moment I recognized you, I never intended to let you leave.” He smiled with satisfaction at Yan Yiming's widened eyes and let out a light laugh. “Whether you told me or kept it from me, it makes no difference, I won't let you go. It's been seven years since you left last time, A'Ming. I won't allow you to walk away like that again.”
The only difference was this: if she had told him, he would have gently accompanied her until she willingly stayed. But Yan Yiming hadn't given him that choice, and so he had chosen a method she would dislike so intensely.
Yan Yiming could see the madness swirling in his eyes, a stubbornness even more unbearable than Shao Jingyu's. Yet, unlike Shao Jingyu, whose obsession was sharp as a blade, Jiang Yi's was like a rope, slowly tightening around her neck, suffocating her bit by bit.
The sight of Jiang Yi's uncontrollable madness sent a dull ache through her chest. But the love she had already given and couldn't take back, and her years-long yearning to return home, had been an irreconcilable contradiction from the very start.
From the moment Jiang Yi recognized her, this path had been wrong. She couldn't give up going home; she didn't belong here. Yan Yiming painfully averted her gaze.
“Young Master, you can't keep me here,” Yan Yiming said. “Even if you order people to watch me day and night without eating or drinking, if I want to leave, you simply can't hold me back.”
So, give up.
“Is that so?” Jiang Yi smiled. “But what if someone you've been protecting with all your heart accidentally meets with misfortune? Would you still be able to leave then?”
All expression froze on Yan Yiming's face.
How could she have forgotten? Jiang Yi already knew her purpose, understood everything she needed to return home, so it wasn't difficult for him to figure out how to stop her.
However, Yan Yiming quickly regained her composure and after a moment said, “You can't do it, Young Master.”
Assassinating the Crown Prince was no easy task. Shao Jingyu's martial skills were exceptional, making it even more difficult. As for Jian Yu'er and Jian Yuyan, Jian Yu'er had saved Jiang Yi in his youth, and Jian Yuyan had left the capital after being released from the imperial prison.
“So, you simply can't kill them.”
“I can't kill them,” Jiang Yi nodded. “But,”
Jiang Yi smiled and spoke gently, “I can kill myself.”
The early winter chill was gradually settling over Jinling. Yan Yiming wore the cloak Jiang Yi had brought for her shoulders, yet she shouldn't have felt cold, but she shuddered involuntarily.
Even their clasped hands offered no warmth.
Beyond guilt, beyond an indescribable sorrow, for the first time, Yan Yiming felt fear in Jiang Yi's presence.