Chapter 113

Only after experiencing separation does one realize it's a feeling more unbearable than death.
Jiang Yi had already endured it once. He didn't want to go through it again, nor could he bear to.
Yan Yiming claimed he couldn't kill the others who stood in his way, but in truth, what couldn't be killed? If they were to die, although A’Ming would be unable to return home, he would also lose all his chances. By destroying her hope of going home, she would certainly not choose to stay by his side. Then, he would have no leverage left to keep her.
As A’Ming had said, if she wanted to leave, he simply couldn't hold her back.
She was fully capable of discarding everything and walking away.
So, he wouldn't be foolish enough to actually harm the others. Moreover, if he were to live in a world without A’Ming again, what meaning would there be in the rest of his life?
Of course, death was the worst outcome. Compared to that, what he preferred was to make her feel constrained so she had no choice but to stay by his side.
Just like now.
Jiang Yi's words echoed in her mind many times, even Little A experienced a momentary system freeze, but neither the person nor the machine doubted the truth behind those words.
Jiang Yi's current state, those stubborn and unsettling eyes, all told Yan Yiming one thing, this was no joke.
Yan Yiming wanted to beg him to come to his senses. Her lips, which should have been crimson, appeared unnaturally pale from being bitten too hard.
“You can choose death, but is it really worth it?”
Yan Yiming couldn't quite understand, “Even if I finally stay, what use is it when you're no longer here?”
“Even if I live, what use is it when you're not here?”
Jiang Yi said. He didn't even refute Yan Yiming's words. With just this one sentence, Yan Yiming found herself speechless.
She had once told Jian Yuyan that there were far more important things in this world than love, life, freedom, family bonds. She wouldn't abandon everything for love.
But now, must she give up just like this?
In her desperation, she asked Little A what she should do.
Little A remained silent for a long while before timidly speaking up, “If Jiang Yi truly chooses to end his life, then you, host, will really have to stay here forever, until...”
At this point, Little A sighed sorrowfully before continuing, “Until Jiang Yi passes away from old age.”
Seeing her host completely shut down, Little A hurriedly added, “Of course, there's still a chance to turn things around. Maybe one day Jiang Yi's feelings will change, and he might decide to set you free. Or perhaps he'll finally come to understand... Host, don't worry. Even if you really live to be a hundred in this world, when you return to the present, it will still be the exact time when you first crossed over. So...”
So, host, just accompany him through this life. Once this lifetime passes, you'll finally be free...
However, looking at Yan Yiming's increasingly despondent expression, Little A didn't dare to voice these words.
Jiang Yi held her cold hand and led her forward under the gray, overcast sky of early winter. Yan Yiming followed in a daze, letting him pull her along without knowing where they were headed.
She couldn't think of a way to escape. She couldn't leave and could only stay by his side, not even daring to say another harsh word that might provoke Jiang Yi.
It had been nearly eight years since she crossed over, and this was the most lost and helpless she had ever felt.
Jiang Yi brought her back to the Jiang residence.
The emperor treated him exceptionally well. The estate was grand yet refined, though to this day, Jiang Yi remained its only master, and there were few servants. Compared to the Ding Duke's residence where Yan Yiming had lived for a long time, the Jiang residence, or the Shao residence, felt terrifyingly empty and inexplicably cold.
Yan Yiming's attention was finally drawn somewhat. Her gaze swept across the vacant estate before settling on an elderly man hurrying over from a distance. The man, though advanced in years, moved with agility. His face glowing with delight, he looked Yan Yiming up and down, beaming as he said to Jiang Yi, “Ah, our residence finally has a mistress!”
Yan Yiming opened her mouth to deny it, but Jiang Yi's handsome features already bloomed with unconcealed joy. “You're absolutely right.”
Yan Yiming: “...”
The old man's gaze was so fervent it was almost overwhelming. Yan Yiming uncomfortably averted her eyes. Seeing this, Jiang Yi chuckled and said, “A’Ming is shy, Uncle Li. Don't tease her.”
“No teasing, no teasing,” Uncle Li replied, grinning from ear to ear. He urged them to go change and freshen up before turning away cheerfully to instruct the kitchen to prepare dinner.
The “shy A’Ming” stared blankly at Jiang Yi before her. He had returned to his usual self, as if the mad and obsessive person from earlier had been locked away in the darkness once more.
Yan Yiming looked at Jiang Yi's familiar smile and suddenly felt emboldened again. A spark of inspiration struck her as she added, “Young Master, I think we still need to discuss this.”
Jiang Yi wasn't angry, but simply acted as if he hadn't heard her. “The cook in the residence makes excellent pastries. The tuckahoe cakes I had delivered to you earlier were handmade by her. Before entering the palace, I already sent word back. Once we've freshened up and changed clothes, we can have dinner directly.”
Yan Yiming fell silent for a moment, then abruptly withdrew her hand from Jiang Yi's grasp and said calmly, “No need.”
Jiang Yi completely ignored her words. Helplessness made Yan Yiming's guilt gradually fade, replaced by an indescribable irritation. She shook off Jiang Yi's hand and added, “I have no appetite.”
“Then rest first,” Jiang Yi replied, seemingly unconcerned. “I'll have the maid bring the food over. You can eat when you feel like it.”
Yan Yiming looked up at him. Jiang Yi reached out to smooth her slightly disheveled long hair, his fingers brushing past her cold earlobes. He cupped her ears with his hands, just like in the past snowy days when he would hold her from behind, his warm hands covering her ears.
Then, he leaned close to her neck and asked ambiguously if she was cold.
In an instant, all her irritation deflated like a punctured balloon, reverting to a helplessness she didn't know how to handle.
Her initiative was completely ignored by Jiang Yi, and her deliberate coldness felt like punching cotton, leaving her utterly powerless.
When nothing seemed to work, Yan Yiming closed her eyes in frustration and could only follow Jiang Yi to his room.
A curious maid, unable to hide her curiosity, quickly brought over some clothes. Jiang Yi took them and ordered the maid to prepare hot water. The maid glanced at Jiang Yi with unusual surprise before scurrying out.
“A’Ming,” Jiang Yi finally addressed her directly, no longer evading her topic. “I know what you want to talk about, and my answer is only one: I won't allow it.”
“But what's the point of being together like this?”
“I find it very interesting,” Jiang Yi said with a smile in his eyes, leaning so close that the tips of their noses were only two fingers apart. “Watching you grow increasingly helpless and angry, clearly furious to the extreme but unable to bring yourself to be ruthless because of guilt, I find every bit of it fascinating.”
Yan Yiming: “...”
“And the most interesting part is how much you want to leave but have no choice but to stay by my side,” Jiang Yi pressed on, his voice closing in. “It was you who came to me and made me accustomed to a life with you, A’Ming. You must bear the consequences.”
“So, fox spirit, grant me a portion of your long years,” he said. “I don't ask for much,” Jiang Yi whispered, lifting her chin and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “Just stay with me for this lifetime. By then, no one will be able to stop you anymore.”
By then, you will be free.