Chapter 118

People often only begin to understand many things after they have left or lost something. It’s not just about the loss itself, but also about the additional losses experienced during that time, which make them realize how precious what they once had truly was.
Eight years were enough for someone who had lived in repression and negativity to understand what she wanted and what she needed to do.
With her personality, she never regretted returning to this world, because it was those eight years of experience that taught her the meaning of responsibility and family bonds. Yet, she also never regretted the eight years she spent in that other world, for there she witnessed the courage of soldiers facing death and the valor of those who fought solely to defend their homeland.
There, she met the most exceptional man in the world.
And there, she experienced the most unforgettable love.
She missed it deeply. Every night when she closed her eyes, she would recall Jiang Yi’s face. That letter was tucked under her bedside, a reminder that everything had not just been a fleeting dream.
She had successfully left that place. Little A, trembling with fear, had been lying low for days before Yan Yiming finally dragged him before her.
He wasn’t too far off from what Yan Yiming had imagined, a scrawny programmer with glasses, not particularly handsome, and at that moment, his pitiful demeanor was almost embarrassing.
The deception back then had caused her to linger in that world for years longer. Little A didn’t dare bring it up, knowing he was already at fault. When he realized that Yan Yiming seemed to have significant influence and could easily have his boss hand him over, he was terrified.
Little A recalled the times he had argued with Yan Yiming, insulting her looks and accusing her of jealousy toward the female lead. Now, he felt the shame of wanting to slap himself.
The system evaluation results bluntly showed him just how brilliantly Yan Yiming had completed the strategy.
Initially, he had only promised Yan Yiming that if she could complete the strategy guide, she could modify the game’s plot and ending as she wished. Now, he couldn’t help but worry whether he could even keep his job.
Although he was scolded every day, the salary was undeniably high. Little A’s face fell as he began to ponder where he would find work next.
Yan Yiming savored Little A’s cowardly appearance and laughed without holding back.
Little A’s face grew even paler.
Yan Yiming thought to herself, how unexpected, the once defiant and confrontational Little A was actually like this behind the scenes. She felt an indescribable disappointment and even lost the initial desire to settle scores with him.
Moreover, she had never intended to cost him his job.
Having lost interest, Yan Yiming no longer felt like saying much more to Little A. Their meeting now had only one purpose left: the game’s ending.
It had been less than a month since she left the game world, and in reality, the game’s storyline wasn’t even halfway through.
The less progress, the better, Yan Yiming chuckled to herself.
She disliked the plot where every character would fall in love with the female lead, and she especially loathed the bleakness of a man remaining alone for life over a woman he could never have. In the original storyline, whether it was the male leads or the female lead, they all ended up lonely in the end. Yan Yiming couldn’t understand what was so appealing about such an outcome.
Wasn’t this supposed to be a romance game?
Little A watched Yan Yiming with trepidation. He was genuinely afraid she would alter the final ending to have all the male leads die tragically, leaving the female lead a widow, or even more crazily, make the male leads fall in love with other women, just as she had once pursued them.
If the plot went that way, he would surely be flooded with hate mail.
Yan Yiming waved the draft in her hand at him and said, “I’ll have it revised for you in three days.”
Little A tearfully saw her off.
Yan Yiming returned to her mother’s place, where she had been staying these days. Her mother’s condition was stable, and everything had been calm.
However, her ill mother seemed to have become much more childlike and less sharp-minded. For instance, ever since her daughter mentioned liking to hear her play the piano, she would play for long stretches.
The housekeeper quietly told Yan Yiming that her mother had complained of sore fingertips yesterday when she wasn’t around.
Yan Yiming glanced back at her frail figure, her heart aching faintly again.
Clutching the draft, she walked inside. Her mother sat upright on the sofa, like an elementary student waiting for praise, with a beautifully arranged fruit platter on the table.
The housekeeper said that ever since her mother realized she had hurt her daughter with a knife, she had developed a fear of blades. Yet, to make her daughter happy, she still personally cut the fruit.
Then she cautiously asked if Yan Yiming would like a piece.
Yan Yiming sighed and sat down, skewering a piece of watermelon with a toothpick before offering another piece to her mother.
“It’s very sweet.”
Her mother was taken aback. “For... for me?”
“Yes,” Yan Yiming said with a smile. “The watermelon is sweet, you should try some too. But you can’t have too much. At most... three pieces.”
Her mother held the tiny toothpick delicately, and after a moment, she smiled, a genuine, heartfelt smile she hadn’t shown in a long time.
Standing by the doorway, the housekeeper wiped her slightly reddened eyes and quietly slipped away, leaving the mother and daughter to their moment.
Three days later, Little A received the revised script from Yan Yiming. He took a deep breath before opening it and slowly began to read, his furrowed brow gradually relaxing.
There was none of the madness he had anticipated. Yan Yiming’s endings were natural and reasonable.
She had written three endings in total, one for Nan Gongxuan, one for Jian Yuyan, and one for Shao Jingyu.
Love has always been a matter between two people. If a third appears, it can no longer be called love. Of course, it’s also possible for everyone to end up alone, but she didn’t like that kind of ending.
If you love someone, then avoid ambiguous entanglements with others. Yan Yiming didn’t favor anyone; she gave each character the opportunities they deserved.
Players could pursue one character along a specific route, while the others would have their own endings. Those endings weren’t about a lonely, miserable life, they would still meet someone to love and have a fulfilling future.
She had crafted the endings for these three characters, but for Jiang Yi alone, she left no words.
Thinking of Jiang Yi again, she knew someone like him would never appreciate others deciding his fate, whether for better or worse. She only wished his ending would align with his heart, leaving him with no regrets for a lifetime.
Perhaps he would fall for the female lead and become the true male protagonist, or perhaps he would pass by her and encounter real love elsewhere.
After all, he was Jiang Yi. Whatever he wanted, she believed he would undoubtedly achieve it.
Yan Yiming never touched the game again, nor did she pay attention to any news related to it. She had returned to this world, embracing the reality she had missed for so many years.
She took care of her mother, actively communicated with her mother’s psychologist, and later went home to see her father, visiting her elderly grandfather and the uncle who had worried about her for so long.
Everyone could see the change in her. Eight years of “empty” time had not altered her appearance in the slightest, but deep down, she was no longer the same Yan Yiming she had once been.
She smiled with confidence and joy, as if she had suddenly understood many things, the helplessness her grandfather and uncle had endured over the years, and she let go of her hatred for her father.
The conversation with Yan Yiming’s father happened on an unremarkable afternoon. She returned home, and her father, slightly surprised, spoke with her cheerfully about many things. Yan Yiming showed no impatience, only telling him in the end that she would persuade her mother to divorce.
He had never loved her mother, and his current concessions were merely out of moral guilt.
She thought of Jiang Yi’s letter, of every word he had said on the day he left, and of the way he had let her go.
When one person’s existence only causes harm to another, it’s better to part ways.
The doctor was right, it was a good thing that her mother had transferred all her guilt onto her. Because that guilt wouldn’t make her father love her mother, but it would make her mother cherish her even more.
It was fine if the guilt was transferred to her. She would accompany her mother and help her heal gradually. Even if her mother lost control again, she was no longer afraid of what her frail mother could do to harm her.
As for whom her father would end up with in the future, she no longer cared. Of course, as long as it wasn’t that woman who had disgusted her for so many years.
No one knew the reason behind Yan Yiming's transformation. In just a month, the Yan Yiming who had once been annoyed and resentful of her mother now patiently stayed by her side, spending hours talking about trivial matters without a hint of impatience.
She even cared for her sick mother as if she were a child.
Her aunt once teased her, saying she would make a wonderful mother someday. Yan Yiming froze for a moment, then smiled after a long pause. “There won't be any children.”
Her aunt was taken aback but then chuckled. “You young people nowadays, always talking about being childless. Once you get married and reach a certain age, you'll change your mind.”
“So I probably won't get married either,” Yan Yiming said, deliberately teasing her aunt, though it was her genuine belief.
Her aunt was stunned again. Looking at her niece, lost in thought, she suddenly remembered her sister and brother-in-law, whose marriage had fallen apart. Perhaps it was this shattered and cruel love that made Yan Yiming, at such a young age, give up on the idea altogether.
Her aunt felt a pang of heartache and gently patted Yan Yiming's head. “Not all couples are like that.”
Yan Yiming smiled but didn't explain.
After all, she couldn't explain Jiang Yi's existence.
After all, she believed that no one in this world could ever be better than him or love her more deeply.
Having experienced such a love, how could she ever see anyone else?
She would rather go without than settle for less. She had never been willing to compromise, and besides, she was quite content with her life now.
Two years passed in the blink of an eye.
Her parents finally divorced. Surprisingly, her mother signed the papers decisively, while her father hesitated for a long time. He had signed countless contracts involving staggering sums, but now the pen in his hand felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.
More than twenty years had passed. Yan Yiming was now twenty-six, and her father had passed fifty. Fine lines had formed at the corners of his eyes, and he no longer looked as young as he once did.
The pen hovered over the paper for a long time before he looked up and asked her if she hated him as a father.
Yan Yiming sighed. “I used to,” she said honestly. She had once resented him for treating her mother poorly and for having another woman. But now that they were truly parting ways, she no longer held that hatred.
Or perhaps, in a way that felt somewhat inappropriate, she understood. If Jiang Yi had forced her to stay back then, she might have lost her feelings for him too.
Of course, Jiang Yi would never do such a thing. He was too clever and loved her too much, so the analogy wasn't entirely accurate.
Her father fell silent again for a long time, but this time he signed decisively. As he handed her the papers, he asked her to take good care of her mother, saying that no matter what, she was his only daughter.
“I know,” Yan Yiming smiled and called out to him, “Dad.”
Her father abruptly turned away, stood up, patted her shoulder, and left the house.
Later, her grandparents took Mother Yan to live with them. Yan Yiming had started working with her uncle two years ago and was now gradually taking over her father’s responsibilities. On top of that, she began reaching out to the best psychiatrists available.
Her mother’s condition had slowly improved, but a complete cure was no easy task. The top-tier psychiatrists weren’t in the country, but no matter what, she had to try to contact them.
If they couldn’t bring the doctor to China, she would take her mother abroad, combining relaxation with treatment.
Unexpectedly, a month later, her uncle received an email from the doctor. Though he worked in Germany, the neat, square Chinese characters clearly indicated he was Chinese. Yan Yiming was pleasantly surprised.
Her uncle smiled and told her the doctor was not only Chinese but also very young, yet at the top of his field, highly sought after in medical circles worldwide.
They were lucky. It so happened that this doctor had decided to return to China, so they wouldn’t need to travel to Germany. He would come back to meet them in person.
At this point, her uncle chuckled. “I heard Christian is quite arrogant and hard to approach, but unexpectedly, he’s so good-tempered and enthusiastic. See, hearsay is always unreliable. Oh, and coincidentally, his surname is also Yan.”
Yan Yiming nodded, then suddenly exclaimed, “Yan?”
“Feels like fate, doesn’t it?” her uncle laughed heartily. “With such a rare name as yours, to actually run into someone with the same surname, it’s truly destiny.”
Yan Yiming laughed along. “There must be some fate involved, otherwise how could we have gotten him to agree?”
Her uncle chatted with her for a while longer, then seemed to remember something. He glanced at Yan Yiming hesitantly but couldn’t hold back. “Yiming, I’m not rushing you to get married, but how about dating first? Take a few years to get to know someone well, then marry when the time is right. Remember that guy from your grandfather’s birthday last time? Cambridge graduate, handsome and capable. He’s been asking about you ever since…”
Yan Yiming sighed helplessly. “Uncle, I really don’t want to get married.”
Her uncle looked troubled. “How can you not get married? At least meet him once?”
Frustrated, Yan Yiming turned away and noticed her niece, who had just started middle school, engrossed in her phone. She smoothly changed the subject. “What are you playing, Taotao?”
“Playing with 2D characters,” the little girl replied, beaming with infatuation. “It’s a new game, supposedly a modern version of Imperial Sovereign. It’s about the four male leads reincarnated in the modern era. So much fun!”
Yan Yiming paused for a moment, then smiled and patted her head. “Which one do you like?”
“This one,” the girl pointed to a man in a silver-gray suit on the screen. “The CEO of XX Group. He usually keeps a straight face, but he’s super gentle with the heroine!”
Yan Yiming chuckled. It was just a marketing gimmick to attract players, reincarnation or not, if they had no memories of their past lives, how could they be considered the same person?
“Have fun,” Yan Yiming said, then met her uncle’s resigned gaze with an innocent smile. “It’s still early. Let’s talk about it later. For now, let’s wait for Dr. Yan.”
Her uncle could only nod in agreement.
Life had once again returned to tranquility. Apart from the relentless barrage of matchmaking attempts from her uncles, aunts, and other relatives, Yan Yiming felt quite content with her life. On the day Christian arrived in S City, her uncle went to pick him up. Yan Yiming was in the middle of negotiating an important business deal and didn’t drive home until six in the evening.
Her grandmother held Christian’s hand, smiling as she asked how old he was and what his surname was.
“Yan,” Christian said.
“Yan is a good surname, a good surname,” her grandmother replied happily, then asked for his full name.
Christian’s beautiful, deep-set eyes seemed to conceal a hint of something extraordinary, as if spanning millennia, but the look vanished in an instant.
Surname Yan.
Full name: Yan Shaojun.
Her grandmother praised his name for being lovely.
Yan Yiming, still in the high heels she hadn’t yet changed out of, stepped onto the lawn and casually tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The villa in the distance was brightly lit, and the lights on the second-floor open balcony were also on. Yan Yiming looked up and saw someone standing there, holding a glass of red wine with an air of casual elegance.
Perhaps he heard her footsteps, or perhaps he sensed her gaze, but he turned his head and his eyes settled on her face.
That familiar face, which she had never forgotten all these years, now seemed unreal and strange upon reappearing before her. Yet his eyes were as deep as ever, and his lips held the same familiar smile.
Yan Yiming suddenly found herself unable to take another step.
The setting sun bathed him in its glow, shining into Yan Yiming’s eyes, so warm, yet so blinding. Tears began to fall uncontrollably.
Her niece rushed out from inside. “Auntie, why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying,” Yan Yiming shook her head. Her niece didn’t press further, pulling her inside while chattering excitedly, “Grandma is trying to set you up on another blind date. She keeps praising Dr. Yan, saying he’s handsome and that his name is lovely. But I think it’s a nice name, too.”
Yan Yiming remained silent, but her niece continued, “He has the same surname as you, Auntie. His full name is Yan Shaojun, just like in the stories.”
Her niece turned to look at her. “Auntie, you’re crying again!”
“I’m not crying. My eyes hurt,” Yan Yiming exhaled softly. “Go inside first. I’ll come in later.”
Her niece didn’t understand why but obediently went inside.
Yan Yiming sat down on a small chair by the lawn and glanced back toward the second floor. The figure was no longer there. A pang of disappointment washed over her, yet her heart continued to race. Tears fell uncontrollably once more.
Frustrated, she rummaged through her bag for a tissue but couldn’t find one, until a slender, elegant hand offered her a tissue.
Yan Yiming didn’t look up, but she knew exactly who it was.
The person sat down beside her, and even his voice was as familiar and pleasing as ever.
“Why are you crying?” he said, his voice gentle and reassuring as he lifted her face with his fingertips and wiped away her tears.
So this is what you look like when you cry.
She hadn’t wanted to cry, but for some reason, she couldn’t hold back. Yan Yiming stared intently at him and asked, “May I call you Shaojun?”
“Then may I call you A'Ming?”
Instead of answering, Yan Yiming replied with something unrelated, “I once liked someone who shared the same name as you.”
The man smiled softly, “I, too, once loved someone who happened to have the exact same name as you.”
Yan Yiming laughed, and Jiang Yi laughed as well.
After so many years, across so many lifetimes, he had finally found her, with the same face, the same name.
The same joy and affection he could never forget.
If she could not stay in his world, then he would stay in hers.
He wouldn’t dwell on how difficult the journey had been, as long as she was here.
From then on, there were no more regrets.