Chapter 26

Having lingered in the world of romance for so many years, Jian Yuyan had encountered countless beauties and heard endless sweet nothings. Rarely did a single phrase make his blood surge and his composure shatter so instantly.
Caught off guard, Yan Yiming pulled him down. Their faces were now extremely close, so near that they could feel each other’s breath with every exhale.
Jian Yuyan’s right hand pressed against the soft couch beside Yan Yiming’s left ear, leaving deep creases in the fabric, a testament to the strength in that hand.
His gaze locked tightly on the woman before him. Though her appearance was one he knew intimately, her eyes now brimmed with mischief and allure, while the red mole at the corner of her right eye added an irresistibly seductive charm to her entire face. Despite the striking resemblance between the two faces, Jian Yuyan knew clearly that this was Yan Yiming, not Jian Yu’er. Yet, even with that knowledge, he was still captivated, both in body and mind.
Yan Yiming reached out, wrapping her arm around Jian Yuyan’s neck, a bewitching smile curling at her lips. Her gaze drifted downward, finally settling on his mouth, while her right leg brushed faintly against a certain part of him. Unable to endure any longer, Jian Yuyan seized Yan Yiming, who had been teasing him to his limits, and kissed her fiercely.
Yan Yiming’s taste was even better than he had imagined. The moment their lips met, it was as if a suppressed spark within him had been ignited, instantly bursting into flames. Mixed with a thrill and excitement only he could understand, he held her tightly, his hands gripping her with a force that seemed intent on crushing her.
In that moment, Jian Yuyan truly couldn’t distinguish whom he was kissing. His hands trembled slightly, his eyes clouded with the intoxication of desire. Yan Yiming passively endured for a while before finally taking the initiative, her tongue teasing and provoking Jian Yuyan into even greater passion. But just as suddenly, he snapped back to clarity.
It was as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over him. Jian Yuyan’s face instantly darkened, and his voice turned to ice as he gripped Yan Yiming’s chin and demanded, “Who taught you these things?”
Yan Yiming had assumed he had stopped because he suddenly realized the person he had been kissing wasn’t Jian Yu’er. She hadn’t expected this question and couldn’t help but look at him with amusement. “For someone like me, what do you think, Young Master Jian?”
Jian Yuyan’s body stiffened, and he abruptly rolled off her.
The identity of an actress was, in reality, no different from that of a courtesan, perhaps even more debased. Outwardly glamorous and beautiful, behind the scenes, they were often seen as shameful and disgraceful.
Jian Yuyan had encountered many beautiful women but had never paid much attention to this aspect.
Until now.
To yearn for a pure, unattainable love while indulging with an actress, only to scorn her for not being as chaste, Jian Yuyan’s behavior was truly distasteful. Even if her body was untouched, Yan Yiming saw no need to tell him.
She rose and leisurely straightened her disheveled clothes. Glancing at Jian Yuyan’s ashen face from the corner of her eye, she sighed softly, almost cheerfully. “I thought a man of your romantic reputation wouldn’t care whether a mere actress was pure or not.”
The jealousy and discontent that had clouded Jian Yuyan’s thoughts slowly dissipated with her words. He forced a bitter laugh. “A’Ming, I have never regarded you as one of them.”
“But in truth, we are no different,” Yan Yiming straightened her clothes and sat up from the soft couch. She walked to the table, poured two cups of cold tea, one for herself and one for Jian Yuyan, and said slowly,
“At the age of nine, my family fell into ruin. The eight of us crowded into a tiny, cramped room, wearing tattered clothes, eating only one meal a day, the coarsest rice.”
Jian Yuyan glanced at Yan Yiming as she spoke. She handed him the teacup and continued, regardless of his thoughts, “I still remember it clearly. That night, my mother suddenly bought pastries and made white flour noodles, something we hadn’t eaten in a long time. It was the best meal I’d had all year. I asked my mother why we could eat such things that day. She said it was because we were about to receive a sum of money.”
“I never imagined that the bowl of noodles I savored for so long was actually bought with my own self. The opera troupe master said they exchanged a small amount of silver for me.” At this point, Yan Yiming paused, seemingly finding it ironic. She took a deep breath before continuing with difficulty, “I didn’t know the roads there, nor the people. The opera master would either beat or scold us every day. If he took a liking to someone and they refused, he would withhold food and water.”
She noticed Jian Yuyan’s momentary anger and smiled faintly before continuing, “I tried to run away once. When I was caught, I was beaten half to death. Even now, the scars remain. I’m afraid to sleep alone at night. As soon as I close my eyes, I remember how my mother coaxed me into taking medicine before selling me off.”
Yan Yiming turned and looked steadily at Jian Yuyan, her expression mocking yet filled with pity. “You think I’m unclean, but I dream of having a clean identity, one that doesn’t force me to become neither human nor ghost just to survive another day... Young Master Jian, no one is born dirty...”
No one is born dirty.
In this world, some feast on delicacies while others chew on roots. People are born different, but no one is born dirty.
Jian Yuyan felt as if a fine silver needle had pierced his heart, sinking deeper and deeper, bringing a faint yet sharp pain, a tingling ache that was hard to bear.
He let out a long sigh, reached out, and pulled Yan Yiming into his embrace. “I never said you were dirty. I just...”
Just what?
Heartache? Jealousy? Or perhaps, “Why didn’t I meet you sooner?”
Yan Yiming was slightly taken aback and lowered her gaze to look at Jian Yuyan.
Resting his chin on her shoulder, Jian Yuyan didn’t notice her expression. His voice was gentler than ever before. “If I had met you earlier, you could have been with Yu...”

Jian Yuyan suddenly stopped, his hand trembling slightly as he released Yan Yiming.
“What Yu?”
“Nothing,” Jian Yuyan replied with a strained smile, standing up to help Yan Yiming sit down. After hesitating for a moment, he leaned in and kissed the corner of her lips. “I have matters to attend to. I'll come see you another day.”
“Mm.”
What Yu? Naturally, it was Yu'er. Jian Yuyan had wanted to say that if he had met her earlier, she could have grown up carefree like Jian Yu'er. Unfortunately, the words stuck in his throat and he couldn't bring himself to say them. Comparing an actress to the woman he loved most, did Jian Yuyan feel it would disgrace Jian Yu'er?
Some of what she had said today was half-truths. It was true that she had been sold off as a child, but the part about running away and being beaten half to death was fabricated. Her identity as an actress was indeed unclean, but it was also true that this young girl was clever, obedient, and had a beautiful voice, and had always been protected from being touched by others.
Still, it was enough that Jian Yuyan believed her.
After Jian Yuyan had gone far away, the young maid attending to Yan Yiming sighed enviously, “Young Master Jian treats you so well.”
“Is that so?” Yan Yiming smiled faintly. “I heard that Yu Mei also once followed Young Master Jian.”
The maid grew excited at the mention of this. “She's nowhere near as favored as you, miss! He only occasionally requested her performances and gave her a few extra taels of silver. But with you, he's truly sincere.” She hesitated for a moment before asking, “Why don't you seize the opportunity and ask Young Master Jian to redeem you? If you could enter the Chancellor’s residence and become his concubine, your life would be set.”
“He wouldn't dare bring me into the Jian residence,” Yan Yiming said. “Besides, what's so good about being a concubine? I'd rather wait until I've made a name for myself singing and then marry into a good family.”
The maid was stunned. How could marrying an ordinary man compare to being Young Master Jian's concubine? And besides, women like them, where would they find a “good family” to marry into?
Her gaze fell on Yan Yiming's delicate, pretty face. The young lady was still too naive, her mindset like that of a child.
After that, Jian Yuyan did not come to the Plum Garden for several days. Yu Mei gleefully declared that Young Master Jian must have finally grown tired of that little wench. Everyone in the Plum Garden waited eagerly to see Yan Yiming's downfall. However, the garden's owner remained unmoved. No one knew that even though Jian Yuyan hadn't come, he had sent someone to relay a message to the owner, instructing him to take good care of Yan Yiming.
The reason Jian Yuyan hadn't come to the Plum Garden was simply that, since that day, there were certain things he couldn't quite figure out.
That day, upon returning home, he happened to run into Jiang Yi escorting Jian Yu'er back to the residence. Jian Yuyan suppressed his anger and didn't confront them. Later, when he spoke to Jian Yu'er about it, she accused him of meddling too much, saying that even their father thought highly of Young Master Jiang.
Jian Yuyan was taken aback.
Chancellor Jian had previously joined him in opposing Jian Yu'er's close association with Nan Gongxuan, which had led Jian Yuyan to overlook the fact that their motivations were not the same.
Nan Gongxuan was indeed not a suitable match, but Jiang Yi was an excellent candidate.
Sure enough, when Jian Yuyan brought it up with Chancellor Jian, the older man stroked his beard and smiled. “Yu'er has reached the age for marriage. Jiang Yi is young, talented, and destined for great achievements. He and Yu'er are a perfect match, both talented and attractive.” Then, signaling the maids to leave, he lowered his voice and added,
“Jiang Yi is no ordinary man. If we cannot eliminate him, we must make use of him. Your Highness, you must not let personal feelings interfere with important matters.”
The Chancellor's tone, as if he had known all along, made Jian Yuyan's heart sink abruptly.
Until their grand undertaking was accomplished, he would have no chance with Jian Yu'er. And though the day of success seemed within sight, it would not be achieved in just three to five years.
“You cannot have both the fish and the bear's paw.” Chancellor Jian was reminding him that those who achieve great things must make sacrifices.
That day, Jian Yuyan drank heavily and, half-drunk, entered Jian Yu'er's courtyard. At a glance, he spotted the elegant calligraphy Jiang Yi had written for her.
Jian Yuyan stared coldly at the writing for a long time before suddenly tossing it into the faintly flickering flames of the brazier. The fire instantly devoured the black ink on white paper.
Jian Yu'er rushed out of her room with a scream, “Have you gone mad?”
It was the first time she had truly been angry with Jian Yuyan. As a young lady from a scholarly family, she couldn't bring herself to say “get out,” but she pointed toward the gate, trembling with rage, and furiously told him to leave, saying she didn't want to see him anytime soon.
Lying on a long bench in the pavilion, Jian Yuyan gazed at the star-filled sky. He recalled how, when he was just old enough to understand, Chancellor Jian had told him he was not a child of the Jian family but the orphaned descendant of the Seventh Prince of the former dynasty, not the minister's son, but his nephew. He remembered being chosen to enter the palace as Nan Gongxuan's study companion, only to be told later that this was the descendant of someone with whom he shared a deep-seated blood feud.
Those in this world who treated him well either relied on him for something or expected something from him. No one's affection was ever pure and untainted.
With a cold laugh, he walked past the high walls of the residence's rear garden. In his tipsy state, he heard the gatekeeper cursing furiously, “Who goes there? The Chancellor’s residence isn't a place you can just come and go as you please!”
A timid, low voice spoke up, “Young Master Jian told our young lady that when the golden plum blossoms in the garden bloom, he would come to admire the flowers.”
Jian Yuyan suddenly remembered a time long ago when he had casually trimmed the flower branches in Yan Yiming's garden. Yan Yiming sat nearby and softly remarked how good he was to those flowers and plants.
“When will you be this good to me?” she had asked.
Jian Yuyan chuckled and asked her, “Haven't I been good to you?”
Just then, Yan Yiming's maid entered and, not fully understanding the conversation, deliberately chimed in, “What's so great about flowers that wither in just a few days?”
Jian Yuyan froze, looking up at Yan Yiming. She lay with her head resting on her arms, calmly leaning on the stone table as if she had heard nothing.
She had long known that his kindness to her was as fleeting as the blooming period of flowers, yet she pretended to be unaware.
Late at night, when it was pitch black and the liveliest hours in the Plum Garden had passed, the actors had removed their makeup and fallen into a deep sleep. Jian Yuyan stepped into the plum garden and followed the familiar path through the darkness. In the overwhelming blackness, only Yan Yiming's residence emitted a faint, hazy glow.
No one knew why there was a small lamp by the door. Jian Yuyan gazed at the faint, flickering candlelight, his eyes softening abruptly as he let out a low chuckle.