Chapter 30

Jian Yuyan was an exceptionally intelligent and sensitive person. He could quickly detect even the slightest abnormality in others, let alone when it came to Jian Yu'er, whose every move affected him deeply.
Jian Yu'er was terrible at lying. Her attitude was far too obvious, a stiff refusal, an evasive excuse to leave, it was enough for Jian Yuyan to piece together the entire situation in an instant.
She knew.
What Jian Yuyan had feared and dreaded most was having his feelings discovered by Yu'er. But now, he realized that the true fear wasn’t being found out, but rather Yu'er’s reaction upon learning the truth.
Yu'er was avoiding him, rejecting him, pushing him away.
The outcome he had dreaded for years had finally arrived, and in that moment, it felt as though he had been sentenced to an inescapable prison.
The entire way, even breathing felt difficult. Dusk had already fallen, and Jian Yuyan was grateful that no one could see his ashen complexion or the lifelessness in his once-charming peach-blossom eyes.
The Plum Garden was still brightly lit at night, but Yan Yiming’s quarters were unusually quiet. The beautiful woman sat at the table, lost in thought, and when she saw him, her expression instantly turned panicked.
There could only be one reason why Jian Yu'er had found out, Yan Yiming. And her expression confirmed it.
Even though Jian Yuyan knew Yan Yiming hadn’t done it on purpose, and that she wasn’t at fault, after all, she didn’t even know who Yu'er was, the pain in his heart was so overwhelming that he couldn’t help but direct his anger toward her.
Why can't you just stay put quietly? Why did you have to appear in Yu'er's sight of all times? Why must you shatter his last shred of hope!
“Where did you go today?” Jian Yuyan's usually gentle voice was hoarse, seemingly calm, but every word seemed to be squeezed through gritted teeth, instilling fear.
Yan Yiming's face was deathly pale, likely from crying, her eyes slightly red and swollen. As if afraid to meet Jian Yuyan's gaze, she whispered softly, “I went to Fuyu Mountain...”
Fuyu Mountain, what a remarkable place. Jian Yuyan suddenly felt an urge to laugh bitterly. Back then, it was on Fuyu Mountain that the young lady of the Yan family had stumbled upon a grand spectacle, and now it was his turn.
The maid beside Yan Yiming was utterly confused, unable to comprehend why her mistress had returned from Fuyu Mountain so anxious, why the young master's words were so cryptic, and what he meant by “this young lady” and “that young lady.”
Unable to hold back, she grumbled, “Wasn't it you, young master, who said you had no time to accompany our mistress and told her to go out on her own? Besides, our mistress only went to...”
“Get out!”
Jian Yuyan and Yan Yiming spoke simultaneously. Yan Yiming grabbed Jian Yuyan's sleeve urgently, pleading, “Yan... Young master, I was just feeling stifled staying here and wanted to visit Fuyu Temple to pray to the Bodhisattva. I truly never expected to run into that young lady...”
Jian Yuyan's eyes were bloodshot as he closed in on Yan Yiming. “Never expected?”
A simple “never expected”, do you have any idea that it has shattered my last hope completely? What use is it to say “never expected” now?
Abruptly, Jian Yuyan seized Yan Yiming's wrist and dragged her straight toward the bed. Yan Yiming stumbled and fell onto the bed, and before she could get up, Jian Yuyan pressed down on her fiercely.
Her hands were pinned firmly to the bed, her legs tightly restrained, leaving her unable to move. Yan Yiming froze for a moment as if terrified, then began to struggle violently.
But at this moment, Jian Yuyan was like a madman who had lost all reason. The more Yan Yiming struggled, the tighter he held her, his grip growing increasingly forceful. His lips and teeth savagely bit down on hers without any semblance of control. Yan Yiming winced in pain and turned her face away, only to have her chin seized as he bit down again.
Her already loose clothing grew increasingly disheveled in the chaotic friction. Jian Yuyan ripped off her belt, exposing her fair collarbone and neck, which soon bore marks of varying shades of red.
His lips and tongue wandered over her bare back until they encountered a scar. Only then did Jian Yuyan pause, his eyes gradually clearing as if regaining clarity.
Her shoulder blades and waistline were exquisitely shaped, yet the smooth, pale skin was marred by crisscrossing scars. Jian Yuyan recognized them as the marks left by a whip.
Jian Yuyan suddenly remembered that Yan Yiming had once mentioned how, as a child, she nearly lost her life while trying to escape, leaving her with scars that would never fade.
Jian Yuyan’s movements froze. He lowered his gaze, watching Yan Yiming bury her face as she sobbed softly, and a sharp pang of pain twisted in his heart.
What had he just done?
What had A’Ming done wrong?
His left hand, which had been gripping Yan Yiming’s wrists, loosened. His right hand gently traced the scar on her skin, and Yan Yiming trembled slightly but said nothing.
From the very beginning, he had been the one to approach her, treating her as a substitute for Yu’er. She had known all along but never uttered a word. In that moment, clarity struck Jian Yuyan. He saw the bruises on her wrists where he had gripped her, the red marks on her waist, and the swollen redness of her eyes.
His throat felt as if something were stuck in it. He opened his mouth, wanting to speak, but no words came out. After a long while, he finally managed to ask in a trembling voice, “Does it still hurt?”
Yan Yiming buried her face in the pillow and mumbled, “It doesn’t hurt.”
Jian Yuyan gently turned her over, took her hand as she tried to cover her eyes, and leaned down to embrace her. He softly stroked her back, holding her until he felt her finally calm down. Only then did he whisper remorsefully, “I’m sorry.”
Yan Yiming stiffened for a moment. Her clear eyes met his, filled with a sorrow he had never seen before. She said, “You would never dare to lay a finger on her.
You would never dare to lay a finger on her, but you wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me for her sake.”
Jian Yuyan held her tightly, as if trying to press her into his very bones. “Never again,” he said after a long pause.
“But you still like her.”
Jian Yuyan closed his eyes, his lips brushing against her ear. “No, I only like you.”
Little A quietly reminded Yan Yiming that Jian Yuyan’s favorability had risen again. Yan Yiming lowered her eyelashes and rolled out of his embrace.
Watching her retreating figure, Jian Yuyan knew she would never believe such words, after all, he didn’t even believe them himself.
Yet it wasn’t entirely a lie. When Yan Yiming left his arms, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss. When she was hurt, his heart ached uncontrollably. He truly did like her. That part, at least, was not a lie.
The next day, when Yan Yiming woke up, Jian Yuyan was already gone. Just as she was about to say something, a sharp pain shot through her lips.
Yan Yiming hissed in discomfort. Little A cautiously asked, “Host, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Yan Yiming replied, tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Actually, it’s not as bad as I imagined.”
Little A still felt a lingering fear, unable to believe that such behavior had come from the usually gentle Jian Yuyan. But… Little A couldn’t resist its curiosity and asked, somewhat awkwardly, “Then why didn’t Jian Yuyan go all the way?”
“He never intended to. He just wanted to vent his frustration, his psychological defenses had completely collapsed,” Yan Yiming explained. “Even if it were to happen someday, it wouldn’t be under such circumstances. That kind of thing would probably only happen with Nan Gongxuan.”
Comparing Jian Yuyan and Nan Gongxuan, Little A nodded in agreement.
The two chatted for a while longer when suddenly, Little A let out a surprised “Huh?” Yan Yiming casually asked, “What's wrong?”
“Jian Yuyan returned to the residence to take care of some business and ended up running into Jian Yu’er.”
If it weren't for urgent matters today, Jian Yuyan would not have returned. But now that he was back, by sheer coincidence, he encountered Jian Yu’er again.
Jian Yu’er had returned yesterday in a daze, only to be startled by Jian Yuyan. It wasn't until she slowly calmed down in the evening that she began to understand many things, like why Jian Yuyan had forbidden her from getting too close to Nan Gongxuan in the past, and why he now strongly disliked Jiang Yi.
She had once thought it was just her older brother being overly controlling, but now that she understood Jian Yuyan's true feelings, everything became clear.
This realization made Jian Yu’er extremely flustered and too embarrassed to speak of it.
After thinking it over all night, she mustered the courage the next day to talk to Jian Yuyan, only to coincidentally run into him just as he returned to the residence.
Jian Yuyan was still wearing the same robe from the day before, and he had clearly just come from outside. Whether it was her imagination or not, Jian Yu’er seemed to catch a faint, elusive sweet fragrance.
Her eyes widened abruptly, and forgetting her embarrassment, she blurted out, “Where did you go last night, Brother?”
Jian Yuyan hadn't expected to run into Jian Yu’er as soon as he returned. Recalling her distance the day before, his eyes dimmed slightly. Instead of answering, he asked her somewhat coldly, “Do you need something, Yu’er?”
Jian Yu’er opened her mouth, momentarily stunned.
Shouldn't her brother have many things to explain to her? Shouldn't he clarify why he was with... a woman who looked so much like her? And since he hadn't returned to the residence last night, had he gone to that place again?
That woman resembled her so closely, and her brother had been staying out all night for days. What did staying out all night imply? The mere thought filled Jian Yu’er with both shame and a sense of humiliation. Seeing that Jian Yuyan showed no sign of thinking he had done anything wrong, she suddenly felt aggrieved and angry.
Her voice trembling slightly, she insisted, “You, you went to that...that actress again!”
Jian Yuyan frowned involuntarily. He didn't like Jian Yu’er referring to Yan Yiming as an actress. “She's not an ordinary actress,” he said, feeling too weary to discuss this with her. He still needed to change clothes and head to the Eastern Palace. “If there's nothing else, I'll take my leave now.”
In her urgency, Jian Yu’er grabbed his sleeve but quickly let go as if remembering something. Watching this, Jian Yuyan suddenly felt an unprecedented weariness. Finally, he turned to face her and asked, “Now you avoid me like some beast of prey, is it because I'm your brother?”
Jian Yu'er never expected Jian Yuyan to ask so directly. Blushing and flustered, she quickly glanced around. Only after confirming no one else was present did she reply, “Isn't this enough?”
“What if I'm not?”
“What... not If ‘I'm not your biological brother,’ Jian Yuyan stared at her intently, his voice deep.
How could he not be? Jian Yu'er didn't understand. Meeting Jian Yuyan's earnest gaze, she didn't have time to think it through and said, “No matter what, Yu'er only sees you as her brother.”
Jian Yuyan let out a silent laugh. He had actually held onto that faint hope, needing to hear such words to completely sever all thoughts in his heart.
Now, he was finally completely disheartened.
“Brother...” Jian Yu'er called out timidly, “Did brother go to see her again yesterday?”
Jian Yuyan lowered his eyes, “This matter has nothing to do with Yu'er.”
“But...” Jian Yu'er was stunned, “But brother promised me you wouldn't associate with those people anymore.”
“There are no 'those people,' only her,” Jian Yuyan said slowly.
“A’Ming isn't what you imagine. It's getting late, I have important matters to discuss with His Highness. If Yu'er has nothing else, you may go.”
With that, he strode away without another glance at Jian Yu'er, leaving her standing there in shock.
In just a few short sentences, her brother had defended that actress twice!
Ah... A’Ming? This familiar address made Jian Yu'er's heart tremble uncontrollably. She suddenly remembered the red mole at the corner of that woman's eye from that day, only now realizing its position was exactly the same as Yan Yiming's red mole at the tail of her eye.
Jian Yu'er gasped sharply, shaking her head to clear the chaotic thoughts.
That woman looked too much like her. If others saw her, who knew what they would think. She needed to find a way to make her brother leave that actress quickly to avoid further trouble.