Chapter 76

Back when she made this decision, although it was difficult, it was nothing compared to the hardship she felt now.
Shao Jingyu was not afraid of the elders' reprimands, but now, facing Yan Yiming's gaze, he did not know how to begin.
Just as Nan Gongye had once said, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he was doing this for Yan Yiming's sake, the slightest hint of selfishness in his heart filled him with unprecedented guilt and torment.
Yun Xiao had once told him there was nothing difficult to explain, Yan Yiming was so severely injured that no one expected her to survive, which was why that memorial was submitted. Who would have thought that after so many days, Yan Yiming would pull through?
It sounded reasonable, but Shao Jingyu did not want to use such an excuse to brush her off. He gazed at Yan Yiming and, after a long while, slowly said, “Yiming, from now on, if there are others around, you must never mention that you once led troops or fought in battles.”
“Why?” Yan Yiming looked up in confusion.
“Because in the eyes of the world, Commandant Yan is already dead,” Shao Jingyu said bluntly. “I brought you back to the Shao residence. Many days have passed, and now everyone knows I brought a woman home.”
Yan Yiming stared blankly at Shao Jingyu's face, as if too shocked to comprehend his words. “But I'm still alive. Why say I'm dead? And General... why did you bring me to the Shao residence?”
“Because you are a woman, Yiming. Women are not allowed to serve in the military. If the Emperor finds out, it would be a crime of deceiving the sovereign.”
Yan Yiming fell silent for a moment before murmuring, “I can keep it from others.”
“Can you hide it for a while and keep it hidden forever? Yiming, you must remember you are not a man,” Shao Jingyu said. “Look at the wounds all over your body. What woman in this world has such a scarred and battered physique? You always say it doesn't hurt, but does it really not hurt?”
Shao Jingyu gently placed her agitated hands back under the covers and continued, “Back then, I asked you if you would come home with me after the war. You agreed. So now I've brought you back. But most importantly, I wanted to bring you back.”
Shao Jingyu said, “Yiming, I want to marry you.”
The room was so quiet that they could hear each other's breathing. Yan Yiming opened her mouth to say something, but only a few fragmented words escaped.
After a long while, she suddenly clutched her chest, her voice trembling as she said, “You're insane.”
“I'm not insane. I just want to marry you,” Shao Jingyu replied. “Back when I thought you were a man, I repeatedly questioned whether I had developed an attraction to men. Later, I realized it was only you. The fact that you are a woman... I am truly overjoyed.”
Yan Yiming turned her head away and spoke hoarsely, “I said I...”
“You once said you wouldn't marry because, as a woman, you couldn't take a wife, but you could be the one who marries.”
Shao Jingyu looked at her, the lingering guilt in his heart burning like fire, scorching him so intensely he dared not dwell on it. After a pause, he continued, “Your body can't withstand another injury. If there are more battles in the future, even if you want to go, I won't allow it. You say you can keep it from others, but you are still a woman. Now that you've achieved great military merits, many noble families will come to propose marriage, and even the emperor might personally bestow a marriage upon you. How will you refuse then? Paper can't wrap fire, sooner or later, it will be discovered. And once it is, that would be the crime of deceiving the emperor.”
Little A clapped her hands, thinking he made a compelling argument.
Yan Yiming pretended not to hear Little A's voice. After a long silence, she said, “I have no family left, I'm all alone. If His Majesty wants to convict me, he can have my life.”
“You may have no family, but you have friends and comrades who care about you, and so do I,” Shao Jingyu replied. Gazing into Yan Yiming's still-clear eyes, he lifted the hem of his robe and knelt on one knee. Yan Yiming was startled. “What are you doing?”
“Everything I said earlier was just an excuse,” Shao Jingyu began slowly. “When I wrote the memorial, I worried that you might not wake up or get injured again, or that the emperor would blame you. But I also feared that you might choose to conceal your identity for life or leave the capital to keep it hidden.”
At that time, Yan Yiming was still unconscious. Shao Jingyu had tried to convince himself that he couldn't ask for her opinion because she was comatose, but in truth, he had felt a sense of relief that she wasn't awake then.
Even though Yan Yiming had risked her life to save him, he still couldn't be sure if her feelings for him were the same as his for her.
Selfishly, he had ended this gamble without giving Yan Yiming a choice. By the time she woke up, she was faced with this reality.
She had only him now.
Kneeling before Yan Yiming, Shao Jingyu laid everything bare. As Yan Yiming looked at the man before her, she felt for the first time that the official data might have been wrong.
Compared to Jian Yuyan, who had the highest emotional intelligence according to the data, Shao Jingyu's skill level was clearly no less, perhaps even slightly superior. After all, when she was pursuing Jian Yuyan, she had controlled the pace, but now Shao Jingyu held the initiative.
He had cut off all her options in one move without making excuses, laying everything out so openly that she didn't know how to blame him.
Concealing everything was to spare you from harm and let you live well. Bringing you back out of personal desire was simply because I wanted you to lean on me and stay by my side.
If there were genuine feelings, such actions would truly be hard to resist.
Yan Yiming should have known long ago, a general who never loses a battle could hardly be a simple man who only reads military texts and fights wars. His mind was deep and his actions decisive. Whether in war or other matters, Shao Jingyu would never fall short of others.
Little A had mentioned earlier that in the original storyline, Shao Jingyu stood by Jian Yuyan’s side to help him reclaim the throne. Even if they ultimately succeeded in overthrowing Nan Gongxuan, whether the throne truly belonged to Jian Yuyan remained a mystery.
Yan Yiming was curious, how did Jian Yu’er persuade Shao Jingyu to abandon his support for Jian Yuyan’s restoration? Since Nan Gongxuan still ascended the throne in the end, what fate ultimately befell Jian Yuyan? Little A refused to reveal even a hint, hesitantly telling her that she would find out one day.
Yan Yiming thought it over and agreed. By the time she returned home, the game might already have reached its conclusion, so there was no rush to find out now.
Her thoughts had drifted too far. This wasn’t the time to dwell on such matters, but in Shao Jingyu’s eyes, he simply assumed Yan Yiming was still shaken and didn’t find it strange.
Yan Yiming snapped back to reality and met Shao Jingyu’s gaze once more. She reached out, pausing mid-air, before finally helping Shao Jingyu to his feet. Afterward, she turned her face toward the inner side of the bed and murmured, “I want to be alone for a while.”
“Alright,” Shao Jingyu replied softly. He tucked the blanket securely around Yan Yiming before turning to leave.
Yan Yiming’s attitude was already much better than he had expected. Her hesitation meant she had feelings too. If she was wavering now, her agreement was only a matter of time.
What he needed to do was resolve the conflict with his family as quickly as possible and make them accept Yan Yiming sooner.
If they stubbornly refused, it wouldn’t matter. After this battle, the emperor could no longer reward him further, which was why many of the honors were bestowed upon the Marquis of Yiyong. But the Marquis of Yiyong was no longer here, no matter how many rewards were given, they were merely empty words. The emperor still wished to reward him but couldn’t.
If all else failed, he would go to the palace and beg the emperor for a marriage decree. Given his achievements in this war, even if the emperor disliked the idea, he wouldn’t refuse.
The worst outcome Shao Jingyu envisioned was severing ties with his family, but his father and mother would never go that far. Once they were married, they would come to see Yan Yiming’s virtues and naturally wouldn’t oppose as they did now.
His insistence on leaving today was truly because of the harsh words his father had spoken yesterday. Still, deep down, Shao Jingyu hoped his family could accept Yan Yiming. If he took her to the general’s residence now, it would only make his father dislike her more and damage their relationship further.
Shao Jingyu needed a way to gloss over today’s actions without taking the initiative. Waiting outside, Madam Shao saw her son finally emerge and approached him.
Shao Jingyu already had an idea in mind.
Master Shao had a fiery temper, but Madam Shao was exceptionally gentle-natured. Shao Jingyu had an excellent relationship with his mother, the only thing that troubled him was her maternal family, his maternal grandparents’ household.
From his grandmother down to his cousins, every one of them grated on Shao Jingyu’s nerves. He couldn’t understand how such a gentle and virtuous mother could come from such an unreasonable, domineering, and oppressive family.
Shao Jingyu smiled and sat beside Madam Shao, saying, “Sorry to keep you waiting, Mother.”
“Mother is also glad that this young lady will wake up soon,” Madam Shao said gently. “I've already sent for the imperial physician again. Since she's just regained consciousness, we must take extra care.”
“Yes,” Shao Jingyu replied. “Mother is always thoughtful.”
“Women tend to be more considerate by nature. Unlike you men, who are all rough and hot-tempered, especially your father, who says such infuriating things. Half a lifetime has passed, and he hasn't improved one bit. I've long told him that now that the children are grown and hold official positions, he can't resort to beating or scolding as he used to. Yet he insists on playing the stern father in front of you, just to hear a few soft words from his children.”
She laughed and shot her son a mock glare. “But you and your father are too much alike, both of you refuse to back down.”
“I was too impulsive,” Shao Jingyu said with a smile. “I'll go apologize to Father later.”
“Apologize for what? He was clearly in the wrong first,” Madam Shao feigned anger. “I'll speak to him later and make sure my son isn't wronged. Since she's someone you brought back, she must be good. Even I felt uncomfortable hearing him speak so harshly without asking for details, let alone you.”
Madam Shao's words struck a chord with Shao Jingyu. She noticed the sudden tenderness in her son's expression when the girl in the room was mentioned. Her heart stirred, but she maintained her composure and asked gently, “I haven't had the chance to ask since you returned, this child...”
“She...” Yan Yiming's real name couldn't be used, so Shao Jingyu paused before saying, “Mother can call her A’Ming.”
“A’Ming, what a lovely name,” Madam Shao said softly, taking a cup of tea from a maid and pouring one for Shao Jingyu. “When you were up north, I wanted to send you some good tea, but I worried there'd be no one to brew it for you. I thought it'd be better to wait until you returned so I could make it for you myself.”
Shao Jingyu took the tea, sipped it, and praised it before saying, “It would've been fine if Mother had sent it. A’Ming is excellent at brewing tea. Once she's better, you must try it.”
“She has such a skill? Then I must certainly try it when I have the chance,” Madam Shao said delightedly, then suddenly seemed to realize something and asked in surprise, “But you were on the battlefield, how could A’Ming have brewed tea for you there?”
Shao Jingyu set down his cup and said seriously, “I didn't want to tell others, but since Mother isn't an outsider, it's fine to share. A’Ming's entire family was killed by the Mongol army, and by chance, she was the only one left. To survive, she disguised herself as a man and, by a twist of fate, ended up by my side. But as a woman, she shouldn't have been in the army. If others found out, it would cause trouble. Now that Mother knows, you must keep this secret for me.”
Shao Jingyu did not mention Yan Yiming's time in the military camp. A woman staying among a group of men, while he himself knew better than to think anything of it, he couldn't guarantee others wouldn't look down on her because of it.
“Since you’re telling me this, it must be kept confidential,” Madam Shao nodded. “Then how did she get injured? I heard from the imperial physician that her injuries were severe.”
At this, Shao Jingyu’s expression turned sorrowful, and after a long pause, he said gravely, “She was injured saving me.”
Madam Shao was startled, her expression finally shifting slightly.
“She took an arrow for me, but I failed to protect her and nearly cost her life. She has a fatal wound on her back. The only reason I returned alive from that battle is because of her.”
Madam Shao’s heart raced with fear. She had heard from Yun Xiao that the Marquis of Yiyong had saved her son twice before, and countless soldiers had died protecting their general in battle. Now, this woman had also become her son’s savior.
For a moment, Madam Shao felt a wave of dread. The battlefield was merciless, but thankfully, someone had been there to save him. If it had been her son who died, she couldn’t bear to think of it.
Her hand trembled slightly as she held her teacup, and she said anxiously, “So that’s how it is. Then… is it out of gratitude that you…”
“Not at all,” Shao Jingyu replied. “A’Ming is well-read in poetry and literature, and excels in calligraphy, painting, and embroidery. I wish to marry her not because she saved me, but because she is truly exceptional. Once you get to know her, Mother, you will see her virtues for yourself.”
Madam Shao smiled faintly, though her expression was strained. “If you say she’s good, then she must be. So, are you still moving to the general’s residence?”
“A’Ming said that since we’re family, it’s better to stay together. I’ve already ordered my belongings to be moved back…”
Little A, having overheard this conversation, returned to the room and relayed the exchange between Shao Jingyu and Madam Shao to Yan Yiming.
Shao Jingyu was doing everything he could to improve her image in the eyes of his family. However, Madam Shao’s words, though seemingly caring, were deliberately guiding the conversation step by step.
This lady appeared gentle and virtuous, but she was truly Shao Jingyu’s biological mother.
Mother and son were both putting on an act, each playing their part as if it were real.
Yan Yiming, having lain on her back for too long, felt a numbness and turned over to lie on her stomach, immediately feeling more comfortable. Just then, Shao Jingyu returned after speaking with Madam Shao. Seeing her position, he assumed her back was hurting and hurried over, asking urgently, “Is the pain severe?”
In truth, she felt no pain, after all, she had no sensation, but given the severity of the wound, Yan Yiming buried her face in the pillow, feigning distress without saying a word.
Though she had resumed her identity as a woman, she remained as stoic as before, refusing to utter a sound no matter how much it hurt. Shao Jingyu felt both frustrated and heartbroken.
Just then, a maid announced that the imperial physician had arrived to examine the young lady. Shao Jingyu quickly welcomed him in.
The physician calmly took Yan Yiming’s pulse and, after a while, stroked his beard and stood up, addressing Shao Jingyu, “General, there’s no need to worry. This young lady is recovering well. I will prescribe some tonics to help her regain her strength. In time, she will fully recover.”
Shao Jingyu breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for your trouble.”
“As for the external injuries,” the physician said, taking three small bottles from his medical kit and handing them to Shao Jingyu, “this medicine will help the wounds heal faster. Have someone apply it for the patient, and be sure she does not scratch the wounds.”
Shao Jingyu noted each instruction carefully before having someone escort the physician out.
He then instructed the maids to prepare the medicine and approached Yan Yiming with the bottles. Seeing them, Yan Yiming blushed and said, “Have the maids come and do it.”
“A few days ago when I tended to your wounds, the young maids were so frightened by the injuries they didn't even dare look, let alone apply the medicine,” Shao Jingyu said with a laugh. “When I dug you out from the battlefield, it was I who removed your clothes. Did you think you managed to change dressings and bathe all the way back to the capital without a single maid by your side?”
No one could know Yan Yiming's true identity, and with no women around, Shao Jingyu had taken care of everything personally. For two months, he had tended to this scarred body, yet Yan Yiming, having just woken up, couldn't immediately accept it.
Shao Jingyu watched as she turned her face away, struggling internally before finally giving in. A faint blush spread across her fair earlobes, revealing a feminine shyness he had never seen before. Paired with the face he adored to the bone, it was a beauty unlike any he had witnessed.
Though he had helped her many times before, this was the first time Yan Yiming was conscious. Shao Jingyu had thought he was used to it, but now, as he helped her undress, his hands trembled slightly.
After removing her inner garment, Yan Yiming lay face down on the bed, hiding her face as if deeply embarrassed, leaving only her snow-white back crisscrossed with scars.
Shao Jingyu opened the bottle, and the light scent of medicine filled the air. The slightly viscous liquid dripped onto Yan Yiming's back. Perhaps feeling the coolness, her back shuddered involuntarily, but she remained silent.
Her body was slender, with a narrow back and a waist so slim it seemed one could encircle it with a single hand. Wearing military armor every day, he had never realized that beneath the heavy gear lay such a delicate frame.
When the medicine reached her waist, Yan Yiming shuddered again. Shao Jingyu paused, then understood, her waist was particularly sensitive.
Though this was merely applying medicine, perhaps because of his affection or the alluring sight of her lying on the bed, Shao Jingyu's previously cool hands gradually grew warm. Even after finishing, he lingered, reluctant to pull away.
Yan Yiming didn't notice at first, but eventually, she became aware and, in a fit of anger, tried to turn over. However, the movement likely tugged at her wounds, and she groaned softly, hurriedly reaching for the nearby quilt.
Shao Jingyu swiftly moved the quilt away. “I've just applied the medicine, don't rub it off on the quilt. I'll stop moving, so you stay still too.”
“Get out,” Yan Yiming said, her voice firm despite her injuries. She grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at him.
Shao Jingyu caught the pillow, held it, and laughed for a moment. “Alright, alright, I'll go out. I'll come back after the medicine dries, okay?”
He placed the pillow back in its original spot, closed the window, and drew the bed curtains before reluctantly stepping out with a soft sigh.
“A’Ming, get better soon.”