Chapter 90

Yan Yiming choked on her tea, coughed violently a few times, and stared at Jian Yuyan in a daze, her voice unsteady. “Young master, you must be joking.”
“It was my weakness back then that caused her disfigurement and ultimately drove her away from me,” Jian Yuyan still clutched the paper tightly, unable to contain his agitation. “Now that I've finally found her, I must bring her back.”
Yan Yiming set down her teacup, suppressing her momentary astonishment. Her previously smiling face instantly turned cold as she fixed her gaze on Jian Yuyan and said, “What if I forbid it?”
Jian Yuyan was taken aback and said bluntly, “We agreed…”
“We agreed that I would help you find her, but we never agreed that you could abandon everything for the sake of a woman!”
Yan Yiming suddenly flared with anger.
“You never know what's truly important!”
Always unable to distinguish priorities, appearing gentle and generous yet selfish to the core.
Compared to Jiang Yi and Nan Gongye, Yan Yiming truly felt no sense of indebtedness toward Jian Yuyan. Even if she had deliberately schemed, it was ultimately Jian Yuyan himself who had caused that situation.
Back then, it was he who couldn't figure out whom he truly loved, so she left a scar on her face; it was also he who dared not oppose Chancellor Jian and reveal the whole truth to her, leading to this outcome; and over the past four years, it was he who refused to face reality, wasting four entire years.
And now, Jian Yuyan suddenly declared he would personally go to bring her back?
Has your motivation suddenly skyrocketed while your intelligence was fed to the dogs?
For a moment, Jian Yuyan didn't grasp Yan Yiming's words. He had only known Princess Ming for three months, so why would she use the word “never”?
But before he could ponder further, Yan Yiming, abandoning her usual politeness, became aggressive.
“Young master, you still hold a concealed identity and haven't ascended to that position yet. Don't overestimate your importance,” Yan Yiming sneered, her radiant face now so scornful it was hard to look at. “Right now, I'm the one helping you. I can say what I want, and you must listen.”
Jian Yuyan truly didn't understand how a woman could exert such pressure. Her phoenix eyes were like polished blades, chilling his heart and suddenly reminding him of the suffocating moment when Shao Jingyu returned to the capital and the Northern Camp cavalry trampled through Jinling's long streets.
He had never yearned for that lofty position, nor dreamed of standing above ten thousand others, but he possessed the basic dignity of a man.
Clearly, Yan Yiming's current behavior made this always gentle nobleman uncomfortable and deeply displeased.
Yan Yiming sensed it but paid no heed. Setting aside other matters, because this situation was simply too absurd on Jian Yuyan's part, she adjusted her mood appropriately and said,
“Young master, I understand your longing for that girl, but have you considered that everyone in the capital is talking about you and me? Yet you want to abandon everything to search for another woman, have you thought of my dignity? I've deceived Chancellor Jian for your sake. If you go looking for her and arouse his suspicion, ruining all our previous plans, where would that leave me? I've exhausted my efforts for you, yet you're pushing me toward death. Such actions are inevitably chilling. I promised to help you find that girl, and now I have, but you haven't fulfilled a single promise you made to me. I may have a good temper, but that doesn't mean I'm easy to bully.”
Jian Yuyan's hand gripping the portrait tightened. After four years, he had finally found a trace of A'Ming, and he couldn't suppress his excitement, which led to his earlier words.
Princess Ming's harsh scolding was unpleasant, and even now, waking up, he still disliked her words. But ultimately, he was at fault first. Jian Yuyan slowly exhaled, his voice deepening, “Those words were inappropriate of me. Please pretend you never heard them, Princess.”
Yan Yiming once thought that a fiery youth like Shao Jingyu must resemble the sun in the sky, but she later discovered that beneath that blazing exterior lay the most selfish of hearts. She also believed that someone as gentle as Jian Yuyan would always consider others, yet now, upon reflection, she realized his inner coldness.
Even if a momentary impulse had caused him to lose composure, wasn't this the most direct reflection of his character? Yan Yiming curled her lips in a hollow smile. “It's best if you can calm down, young master.”
Both fell into a prolonged silence until, after a while, Jian Yuyan suddenly asked her, “Aren't you afraid I'll hold a grudge against you? If things go as planned in the future, I might harm you because of this.”
“No,” Yan Yiming replied swiftly.
Jian Yuyan was taken aback. Was she too trusting of him, or too confident in herself?
But Yan Yiming let out a scornful laugh. “I'm not even afraid of death, why would I fear your retaliation? As for whether things will succeed or not, it's too early to discuss that now. Let's talk when you've actually ascended to that position.”
With that, she stood up, bid farewell, and left without a hint of reluctance.
Jian Yuyan silently watched her depart, murmuring to himself as he recalled her words, “Not even afraid of death... then what are you truly afraid of?”
“Afraid of not being able to go home,” Little A, with her keen hearing, sighed softly. Floating in the air, she watched Yan Yiming, whose expression remained unchanged, and drifted closer. “Host, let's go to Yujing Tower for some food.”
“You're just a machine, you can't even smell the aroma,” Yan Yiming retorted, then smiled. “I know you're trying to comfort me. I'm not angry; it's just not mealtime yet, so I'm not hungry.”
She wanted to eat but wasn't hungry. Yan Yiming hesitated over whether to sample various snacks along the way. As she pondered, someone handed her an exquisitely crafted sugar figurine.
The person's fingers were slender, with distinct knuckles, and his voice was clear and pleasant, carrying a hint of laughter as he offered the sugar figurine to her.
Yan Yiming looked up and saw Jiang Yi's handsome, smiling face just half a meter away.
Perhaps it was because they had spent many years together like this, without any guard between them. He had often shielded her from the sun with a smile, gazing at her with those same laughing eyes. The familiar past surged in her heart, and without a second thought, she took the sugar figurine out of habit.
Jiang Yi's eyes softened with an even warmer smile. Only after recognizing who it was did Yan Yiming quickly step back, her refusal unmistakable.
“It's just a few coins,” Jiang Yi said, unbothered, his expression relaxed. “When you're in a bad mood, a bite of sugar can make it better.”
Yan Yiming looked up in surprise. How did Jiang Yi know she was in a low spirits? Whether intentionally or misinterpreting her gaze, he explained, “My late wife once said that eating sweets can lift one's mood.”
Yan Yiming pretended not to understand and averted her gaze.
She had always loved sweets, and Jiang Yi often thought she indulged too much. She had once earnestly explained to him that eating sugar made her feel much happier.
But because her health did not permit it, Jiang Yi still withheld a portion of her snacks. After having the hibiscus cakes taken away, he looked at her displeased expression with a gentle smile and coaxed her softly, “If you're unhappy, I'll cheer you up. If you're happy, I'll share in your joy. The sweetness you missed, I'll make up for it myself.”
So, whether she was happy or not, he would always be by her side.
At that time, Jiang Yi was just a sixteen-year-old youth, yet his words were the sweetest, most cloying love talk. Yan Yiming stared wide-eyed at this underage boy who already knew how to charm girls. Taking advantage of their proximity, Jiang Yi gently lifted her chin, bent down, and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her lips.
Four years seemed uneventful, but looking back, they were the most tranquil and comforting days she had experienced in all these years.
Yan Yiming lowered her gaze, her eyes falling on the sugar figurine in her hand.
The graceful and elegant lady was so exquisitely crafted that she couldn't bear to take a bite. Just as she was about to say something, she caught sight of another sugar figurine in Jiang Yi's hand, this one shaped like a scholar holding a folding fan.
Yan Yiming quickly averted her eyes, gently biting off the round fan held by the sugar lady, and smiled. “Thank you, Lord Jiang.”
After a pause, she added, “It's very sweet.”
Jiang Yi's eyes curved into a smile, revealing no trace of suspicion, as if he had never seen the birthday poem Yan Yiming had written for the Empress's celebration some days ago.
Yan Yiming carried the memories of four individuals but only knew two styles of handwriting.
When she was an actress, she only recalled tragic pasts and long passages of opera lyrics. As Yan Yiming, she remembered only the cruel reality of her family's departure, these were the memories of two unfortunate women struggling desperately for survival and a mouthful of food. She had never learned music, chess, calligraphy, or painting, nor had she studied poetry, literature, or etiquette.
It was only as Lady Yan that she became proficient in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, and as Miss Jiang that she delved into military strategy and poetry.
On the day of the Empress's birthday celebration, Yan Yiming was invited to the palace. With Lady Yan and the Crown Prince both present, to avoid suspicion, she dared not use Lady Yan's handwriting and instead chose the unrecognized handwriting of Miss Jiang.
No one but Jiang Yi could recognize that handwriting. She watched as the Empress personally reviewed all the birthday poems, after which the palace servants gathered the stack of papers and stored them in the Kunning Palace.
After the celebration, these papers would be tossed into a brazier and vanish completely by the next morning.
Over a month had passed since then, and Jiang Yi had shown no reaction, gradually putting her mind at ease. Even if she had worried about the handwriting, she now felt reassured. After all, as an external official, Jiang Yi could not have attended the palace banquet, and since all the poems had been stored in the Kunning Palace, they would not have circulated outside.
Yet, that birthday poem had still found its way into Jiang Yi's hands.
No one noticed that one sheet was missing from the thick stack of papers, and no one knew that Jiang Yi had sat in the pavilion of the Jiang residence all night, holding the familiar handwriting, until dawn. Only then did he rise, change into his court attire, and carry on as if nothing had happened, a smile on his face.
Little A quietly fell silent as the two walked together along the main street of Jinling, until Jiang Yi had to leave for some business.
Yan Yiming looked at the other sugar figurine Jiang Yi had handed her, the scholar-shaped one he had been holding earlier. Just before leaving, he had casually slipped it into her hand.
Yan Yiming twirled the sugar figurine in the sunlight before finally sticking it into a flowerpot outside the window. After a midday nap, the figurine had already melted into a muddy syrup under the scorching sun.
Its original form was no longer recognizable.