Chapter 97

Yan Yiming woke very early. In the dim light of dawn, she sat hugging her quilt for a long time.
Little A woke up groggily, quietly curled up at the foot of the bed, watching her for a while before dozing off again. Out of the corner of her eye, Yan Yiming noticed and tucked the quilt snugly around it. Then, draping her outer robe over her shoulders, she got out of bed.
She had dreamed all night long, and even after waking, the faces and voices of Jiang Yi and the others still filled her mind, as if echoing hauntingly from the void, impossible to shake off.
Yan Yiming had always believed that dreams could reflect a person’s true inner world, the good, the bad, the thoughts often dwelled upon in daily life, the concerns of the present that were deliberately avoided, all would play out unrestrainedly in dreams.
The early autumn dawn carried a chill. Even with her outer robe on, she still felt a bit cold. Yan Yiming rubbed her arms, curled up on a stool, and sank into a daze.
Yan Yiming didn’t want to dwell too much on the past she shared with each of them. Sometimes, she even deliberately reminded herself that this world was an illusion, that every person was fictional, and everything that had happened between them would eventually shatter into pieces once she left.
But why did she still dream of them? Why did she wake up feeling a tightness in her chest and an inexplicable fear?
Yan Yiming lowered her gaze.
Because even if the people were fake, the emotions were real.
Whether the feelings were selfless or selfish, whether the memories were joyful or painful, they were all real.
She had dreamed of each of them, but Nan Gongye and Jiang Yi appeared a bit more frequently than the others. It was because the guilt she had deliberately ignored was also real.
She could deceive Nan Gongxuan again without any pressure, toy with Jian Yuyan effortlessly, and even face Shao Jingyu with righteous confidence. But when it came to Jiang Yi, who had given his all, and the innocent Nan Gongye, who had been dragged into her mess, the reproach from her conscience was always harder to ignore. And it was precisely this guilt that made her somewhat afraid.
The image of Jiang Yi gently stroking the coffin surfaced in Yan Yiming's mind once again. She shook her head vigorously, stood up, and pushed open the window. The chill that rushed in instantly froze all her thoughts dead in her mind.
Yan Yiming let out a long sigh. Sentimentality and hesitation were not her style. This was a game, and she was an excellent player. It was fine to play the game, but she absolutely could not let the game play her.
No matter what, nothing compared to winning the game and returning to the real world.
But having had such a dream, Yan Yiming was genuinely a bit worried. Setting aside her earlier assumptions, she grew increasingly attentive to the upcoming plot developments and approached her serious discussion with Wei Xiongjie with more focus than usual.
Wei Xiongjie was slightly surprised but ultimately attributed it to the approaching climax, thinking even the princess couldn't suppress her excitement. He ended up advising Yan Yiming to maintain her usual demeanor to avoid arousing suspicion.
Yan Yiming smiled and assured him not to worry.
Seeing her in better spirits and more talkative than usual, Wei Xiongjie was reluctant to leave. So, he began discussing matters related to the Mid-Autumn Festival.
“Her Majesty the Empress Dowager enjoys lively gatherings, and His Majesty, being filial, will surely attach great importance to this Mid-Autumn family banquet. Logically, you are not a member of the imperial family, but you were invited to the last family banquet for the Empress’s birthday. I believe you will be invited again this time. Moreover, the Empress seems intent on fostering closeness between you and the Crown Prince.”
Yan Yiming recalled how the Empress had previously remarked that she was alone in the capital, living a lonely and desolate life, and thus frequently summoned her to the palace for conversation, often bringing up the Crown Prince. How could Yan Yiming not understand the Empress’s intentions?
Now, with the Mid-Autumn Festival being such a festive occasion for reunion, the Empress would surely not forget to include her, or perhaps use it as another opportunity to matchmake her with the Crown Prince.
“It’s only natural for the Empress to go to such lengths,” Wei Xiongjie said, thinking of the rumors he had heard lately and assuming Yan Yiming might be interested. “The Crown Prince has refused to take a principal consort for so many years, and Prince Yue hasn’t even taken a secondary consort. The Empress can’t help but worry.”
At the sudden mention of Prince Yue, Yan Yiming abruptly recalled the dream, the stubborn eyes of Nan Gongye as he wrapped the thin silver chain around his hand, coil by coil. She frowned slightly and replied perfunctorily, “Indeed.”
Wei Xiongjie, unaware of Yan Yiming’s reluctance, continued eagerly with the gossip he had recently heard. “The Crown Prince and Prince Yue are both born of the Empress. I’ve heard they even resemble each other in appearance by seventy or eighty percent, yet the brothers are not close. Do you know the reason, Princess?”
Yan Yiming lifted her eyelids slightly, then lowered them again, replying indifferently, “I don’t know.”
‘And I don’t want to know. Please leave quickly’, Yan Yiming thought irritably. Unfortunately, Wei Xiongjie was accustomed to her cold demeanor and once again failed to sense her refusal. With a hint of excitement, he continued, “I heard the Crown Princess was exceptionally beautiful. Back then, countless noble sons admired her and sought her hand in marriage, including the Fifth Prince before he was enfeoffed as Prince Yue. But the Crown Princess declared she would only marry the Crown Prince in this lifetime. Later, she died saving the Crown Prince from an assassination attempt. The Crown Prince was filled with guilt, but Prince Yue resented the Crown Prince for her death...”
“Enough, enough,” Yan Yiming waved her hand dismissively. “Why are you believing such baseless rumors? Let’s talk about serious matters.”
Wei Xiongjie's expression darkened briefly but quickly returned to normal. “On this Mid-Autumn Festival, Her Majesty the Empress Dowager, missing Prince Yue, has specially commanded His Majesty to summon the Prince back to the capital for a family reunion. Since Prince Yue is returning to the capital, it's the perfect opportunity to eliminate the threat once and for all. As for you, Princess...”
At this point, Wei Xiongjie paused before continuing, “For your safety, Princess, please find a way to excuse yourself from the Mid-Autumn family banquet.”
“That's simple,” Yan Yiming tapped her fingers lightly on the table twice. “In a few days, spread the word that Princess Ming has caught a chill and is unwell. You handle the rest.”
If she were bedridden due to illness, the Emperor and Empress would naturally send imperial physicians. The Empress might be genuinely concerned, but the Emperor would surely be suspicious.
However, such a minor matter could easily be handled by Wei Xiongjie.
Wei Xiongjie had no objections. He nodded and took his leave.
Half a month later, Princess Ming had caught a slight cold and was confined to her bed. The Empress was deeply worried and specifically ordered imperial physicians to examine her. The physicians returned to the palace and reported that Princess Ming's condition was severe. They had already prescribed medicine, and she needed to rest quietly. It would take quite some time for her to recover.
The Empress knew that neither of her sons had taken a wife, and compared to others, she was even more fixated on Princess Ming, after all, she bore some resemblance to the Crown Princess.
Since the Crown Prince was unwilling, perhaps her younger son would be. But who would have thought that at this critical moment, Princess Ming would fall ill? Illness strikes like a collapsing mountain, and there was no use in rushing. She could only order the imperial physicians to take good care of her.
As the weather gradually turned cooler, Yan Yiming was content to stay in her residence without going out. She played checkers and Gomoku with Little A, kicked shuttlecocks with her maids, and enjoyed unpacking the gifts sent to her.
With Princess Ming falling ill, countless supplements and gifts poured in from both inside and outside the palace. Many people seized the opportunity to curry favor with Princess Ming, sending rare treasures and precious items.
Jian Yuyan and Jiang Yi also sent gifts. However, compared to Jian Yuyan's perfunctory jewels, Jiang Yi's exquisitely crafted pastries were particularly to her liking, especially since they were delivered daily without repetition.
Yan Yiming had once been fond of beautiful jewelry, but no matter how much she liked it, she couldn't take it back with her. Liking it was futile, and over time, she lost interest in such things.
In this world, nothing truly belonged to her, only the delicious food she ate was hers.
Jiang Yi sat at his desk, listening to the steward report that Princess Ming was very pleased. He waved the steward away, and shortly after, a guard in martial attire appeared in the study and whispered a few words in Jiang Yi's ear.
The brush in his hand fell onto the snow-white paper, leaving scattered marks.
The guard silently withdrew once more. Jiang Yi slumped into his chair and slowly closed his eyes.
That day, after learning about Jian Yuyan's past from Jian Yu'er and recalling all those days of being deceived, Jiang Yi wished in that instant that Jian Yuyan would vanish from this world.
Making him disappear was almost too simple. His identity as a remnant of the previous dynasty was enough to ensure he died without a proper burial. As long as Jiang Yi concealed the fact that Jian Yuyan had once offered advice and refrained from pleading for mercy before the emperor, Jian Yuyan would surely die, and so would Madam Jian and the others he was so desperate to protect.
Yet, in the end, Jiang Yi still protected him. When the emperor questioned him, he told His Majesty that Jian Yuyan was not a treacherous minister like Chancellor Jian.
There was no other reason, it was still because of Yan Yiming.
Initially, Jiang Yi wasn't sure whether everything Jian Yuyan had done in private was deliberately guided by Yan Yiming. But now, knowing Yan Yiming's true identity, Jiang Yi could be certain: Yan Yiming had used her identity as A'Ming to intentionally reveal Chancellor Jian's secrets to Jian Yuyan and deliberately paved a way for him to survive.
She had played a grand game of chess, all to save Jian Yuyan's life. And how could Jiang Yi bear to disappoint her?
So, he still did not make things difficult for Jian Yuyan, even though his heart was already on the verge of collapse from sorrow.
For many days, whenever Jiang Yi had a moment of quiet, he would think of Jian Yuyan and Yan Yiming. He wondered why she had gone to such lengths to save Jian Yuyan. Was it because she couldn't bear to let go of their past feelings? Or did she want to save his life so they could reunite in the end?
When he first learned that the Crown Princess was A'Ming, Jiang Yi hadn't felt much, because Yan Yiming had been so indifferent toward the Crown Prince, and there were no profound memories between the Crown Prince and his consort.
But Jian Yuyan was different.
Yan Yiming was protecting him; she cared about him. Jian Yu'er had said that A'Ming once claimed she loved Jian Yuyan so much she would even ruin her appearance for him, that she had painted portraits for him, and that she would never have left if not for his deception.
He was jealous, he was furious, but more than anything, he was afraid.
He was afraid that, even in a chance encounter she hadn't taken to heart, someone else had left a deeper mark on her than he had.
He feared that Yan Yiming didn't care about him, and even more, he feared that she cared more about someone else.
No one would have imagined that Jiang Yi, now a third-rank official, could be afraid, that he would spend nights reading Yan Yiming's handwriting over and over, trying to numb and convince himself, only to finally lose control and send his personal guards to investigate.
He heard that Yan Yiming was ill, but with the Mid-Autumn Festival approaching, Jiang Yi guessed she was feigning sickness. Though deeply saddened, he still sent her favorite pastries. When the steward said she liked them very much, he felt a flicker of joy.
Until his guard's report just now.
The guard said that after meeting that actress, Jian Yuyan frequently visited the Plum Garden and eventually stayed there night after night, never returning to the Chancellor's residence.
For a full six months.
The owner of the Plum Garden spoke of Yan Yiming with pride, perhaps believing it was his accomplishment to have a woman who could captivate Jian Yuyan so thoroughly. That powdered, rouged man, with his ambiguous, androgynous voice, laughed suggestively, “What happened? Oh, young master, you're really something. A man and a woman, sleeping in the same bed every night, what do you think happened?”
Jiang Yi suddenly lost control again. It felt as if his heart had been torn open, bleeding profusely, the pain so intense he couldn't utter a word.
So they weren't the same after all. She had even given her body to Jian Yuyan, while he hadn't even been granted a final meeting.
Jian Yuyan, what gives him the right.
To make him hurt so much, Jian Yuyan should just drop dead.
The new moon was nothing but a slender arc; tomorrow might be overcast again, with hardly any stars in sight. The night seemed darker than usual. After her bath, Yan Yiming, dressed in a thin robe with her half-damp hair cascading down, picked up a book to pass the time before sleep. Suddenly, there was a faint rustling in the courtyard. Little A perked up her head sharply, then froze in place as if she had seen something too absurd to look at.
Yan Yiming paused, setting down her book. “What's wrong?”
“...We have a guest.”
As soon as the words were spoken, someone slowly pushed the door open. Yan Yiming was startled, and when she saw who it was, she was utterly dumbfounded.
Jiang Yi’s snow-white robes were inexplicably smudged with dirt, his hair crown slightly askew, a few strands of long hair slipping loose and making him look rather disheveled. His usually clear eyes held a trace of confusion, and as he walked toward her, he stumbled slightly.
Yan Yiming, alarmed, hurried forward to support him. Jiang Yi took the opportunity to pull her into a tight embrace.
Outside, a maid who had heard the commotion anxiously asked what had happened. Yan Yiming reassured her that everything was fine and told her to rest early. Struggling to move Jiang Yi, who refused to let go, she managed to guide him to the edge of the bed, bewildered. “What are you doing here? No, how did you even get in?”
Jiang Yi buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Climbed the wall.”
If Shao Jingyu had said that, she might have believed it. But Jiang Yi, who couldn’t even overpower her and had no strength to speak of, Yan Yiming laughed mercilessly. “With that physique of yours, you climbed the wall?”
Jiang Yi fell silent, then suddenly, as if embarrassed and angry, tightened his hold on her. After a moment, he muttered quietly, “I had a hidden guard.”
I knew it. Just imagining a hidden guard hoisting Jiang Yi over the wall, Yan Yiming couldn’t help but want to laugh. As she lowered her head, she caught a faint whiff of alcohol.
Yan Yiming had seen Jiang Yi drunk before. Back then, he was a sixteen-year-old youth who had just passed the imperial examination with top honors and attended the celebratory banquet. He returned with flushed cheeks, his eyes hazy, clinging to her and acting spoiled.
No wonder he had inexplicably found his way here. No wonder he was more childish than usual. Yan Yiming’s heart softened unexpectedly. Being held like this, bent over at an awkward angle, was uncomfortable, and his breath against her neck tickled. She sighed helplessly and patted his back gently. “Let me go for a moment. I’ll pour you a cup of tea...”
Jiang Yi obediently released her, but as soon as Yan Yiming straightened up, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist again, pulling her even closer. Satisfied, he pressed his face against her midsection.
It was a gesture Jiang Yi had always loved, an intimacy they were once so familiar with.
“No tea,” Jiang Yi said.
“Then let's not drink,” Yan Yiming patted Jiang Yi's shoulder, letting her hands rest naturally on him. After a long while, when Yan Yiming thought he had fallen asleep, she suddenly heard his slightly hoarse voice.
He said, “Are you a fox spirit who shouldn't exist in this world, which is why he can't forget you?” Yan Yiming's heart trembled slightly, but then she heard him continue, “Are you a fox spirit descending to the mortal world to endure trials, merely passing through my world for a brief moment? To you, I am just an insignificant part of your past...”
Her hands on his shoulders stiffened. Yan Yiming wanted to stop him from saying more, but Jiang Yi spoke so quickly and naturally.
“I may be a dispensable part of your past, but to me, you are everything I have spent my life pursuing.”
“So I humbly beg you, if it's possible, could you pass by again like you did before? Could you stay a few days longer than last time? When you leave again, I will have memories to cherish for a lifetime, and I will have no regrets.”