Chapter 20

The air was growing chillier by the day, but Du Ruo was rock solid in her routine: morning reading, rain or shine. She used to read English textbooks; now she’d moved on to dense, technical English papers and industry journals.
The other die-hard morning readers at the track weren’t about to let a little cold stop them either.
Same for the morning joggers.
Du Ruo ran into Jing Ming a few times. He was as vibrant as ever, hoodie, earbuds, sportswear, running five or six laps around the field before heading off.
She’d once overheard some guys in her class gossiping during a break, he’d barely scraped a pass on his politics retake. Sixty points. Right on the dot.
She’d been up front, reading during the discussion; she’d kept her face neutral, but inside, she was quietly giddy.
The boys had been nosy: "I wonder who did his notes for him."
"Probably some girl from our department with a secret crush," they snickered.
Weren’t they right about the crush part.
It wasn’t easy to bump into him. Mornings were her best shot, at least she could hope for the chances the day might give her.
She always wanted to say hi, but never quite worked up the nerve. Most days she'd settle for just walking a lap as he ran by. Sometimes, just before he reached her, she’d stride purposefully across the track, pretending she'd never noticed him at all.
Only after she’d walked far enough, chest out, stomach in, would she dare glance back, by then, his silhouette was already retreating in the distance.
She’d leave the track, a little disappointed for reasons she couldn’t put into words.
The leaf rubbing was still pinned in her sticky note pad, with no chance to give it to him.
A week later, after a class ended and most people had left, Du Ruo overheard Li Wei and a professor deep in discussion about Prime’s robotics and AI project.
She hadn’t caught the details last time in the office, so she loitered in the classroom. When the teacher left, she asked Li Wei, "You guys are doing an AI project?"
"Autonomous driving," he said.
"Oh." Du Ruo nodded slowly.
Li Wei noticed her curious look and laughed. "Dying to know?"
"Of course."
"Then come on, I’ll show you."
"I can come see?"
"Why not? Unless you’re about to leak our 'top secret' or something."
Du Ruo followed Li Wei to the lab.
The walls were buried in diagrams, wiring schematics, blueprints, papers, references in English, German, and Chinese. Scattered across the floor were motors, robotic arms, ball bearings, cables, circuit boards, sensors, PLC controllers.
The guys clustered in small groups: some hunched over keyboards, others assembling controllers at worktables, all faces she recognized as the brightest in the department.
Du Ruo navigated carefully through the spare parts, prompting Li Wei to grin. "Relax, these are all the rejects."
"Really?"
"Yeah, that guy’s standards are sky high." Li Wei nodded at someone across the room.
Jing Ming stood by a table, white shirt, jeans, bent over, sketching and scribbling on paper. Beside him was a complete machine vision module.
Li Wei told her to look around, then went over to Jing Ming, pulling paper and pen from his backpack. "Asked our professor, turns out the controller can be improved right here."
Jing Ming flicked him a brief glance and returned to his work. "Mm."
Just as he drew another line, he seemed to sense something, looking up, saw the outsider, Du Ruo.
Du Ruo had just picked a paper off the wall when their eyes met. She jolted, quickly putting it back.
Jing Ming studied her with a blank expression, thoughts a mystery, his gaze almost piercing through her before dropping back to his sketches as if she were invisible.
She considered for a moment, maybe he hadn’t really seen her, so she relaxed and pulled the file back down to examine.
She had no more classes today, so she stayed, going through papers and blueprints, jotting detailed notes, feeling unexpectedly proud.
She actually understood this stuff, and it wasn’t all that foreign, thanks to her habit of relentless self-study.
Even so, she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of awe.
Jing Ming really was something else.
Every sensor suite, control interface, execution software, it was all here. Systems within systems, hardware, code, program design, every detail mapped out in those reference binders. He’d laid it out so clearly it was almost a guidebook.
Technical challenges were neatly annotated, classic articles and case studies attached, all waiting for someone to conquer them.
She moved along the wall, reading page after page and tracing each intricate line, a shiver running through her now and then.
Damn, he was brilliant.
But the most amazing part, she could read these blueprints, admire them, understand them. That was the payoff for all her own hard work, a private kind of communication, almost like speaking a secret language.
The geniuses in this lab, this was how they connected, how they pulled each other into their orbit. They had a code only they understood.
And now, she could finally break it too.
The joy and pride of relentless study filled her whole chest, she could barely contain it.
All afternoon, she wandered around on a cloud somewhere between awe and pride.
But she kept glancing back at Jing Ming all the same.
He never left his desk, sometimes typing, sometimes sketching, a habitual crease between his brows, his eyes sharp and clear.
When he was focused, he seemed completely different, the furthest thing from a spoiled rich boy.
More than once, she watched as he typed, absentmindedly reaching for a water bottle next to him.
The bottle was empty. He didn’t notice, unscrewed the cap, tipped it back, realized it was dry, and put it back, never taking his eyes off his blueprints.
A few minutes later, he would unthinkingly reach for it again, find it still empty, and set it aside.
Du Ruo did a headcount, tucked her notepad away, and quietly slipped out.
She dashed to the elevator, down to the ground floor, and full-on sprinted to the nearest convenience store.
She didn’t want to make it obvious, so she bought ten bottles of water.
Poor girl, Jing Ming's favorite was the priciest water in the shop, three yuan a bottle. She couldn’t just buy one fancy bottle and nine cheap ones. Had to grit her teeth and go for ten of the expensive ones. Then she hauled that heavy bag all the way back, upstairs, into the lab, handing out bottles to everyone.
The boys each took one, startled. "Uh, why are you treating us?"
Du Ruo smiled, "Thanks for letting me visit, think of this as a small thank you."
Finally, they all relaxed. "Way too polite."
She did the whole routine naturally, but as she turned to the back of the room, her heart suddenly dropped.
Jing Ming was gone.
His chair and desk, completely empty.
She hugged the last bottle of water to her chest, feeling as icy as the untouched bottle itself.
She almost wanted to cry, not knowing what to do, when she heard a slightly irritable voice behind her: "Hey, move."
She spun around, unable to hide her grin of delighted surprise.
"..." Jing Ming regarded her, a little weirded out, lowering his voice so only she could hear: "Did you take the wrong meds or what?"
Du Ruo quickly shoved the bottle of water at him: "This one's for you."
He hesitated, but she covered quickly: "A guy over there bought them for everyone. Told me to bring this one to you."
He accepted this explanation, taking the bottle without so much as a 'thanks', since, you know, it was 'from someone else.'
But Du Ruo didn’t care. She didn’t need his thanks.
She watched him walk past, his pale fingers twisting open the cap, tilting his head back to drink, Adam’s apple working as he downed half in one go.
She was over the moon.
Back at her chair, her heart practically danced with glee.
They all kept working until eight that night, and she managed to hang around till eight as well.
Jing Ming had promised to treat everyone to dinner. People started packing up and filtering out, heading downstairs.
It was only once she’d walked out that she realized Jing Ming wasn’t following.
He was the last to leave, lingering in the lab tidying up.
She slowed her steps on purpose, drifting to the back of the group.
Up ahead, their classmates chatted about homework as they walked off, disappearing into the elevator bay.
She slipped away to the corner of the hallway, loitering by the sinks, dragging out the moment.
The elevator dinged. Her classmates left first, descending.
The lab building was empty and hushed this late at night, the soft lights spilling warmth down the silent corridor.
At last, she heard Jing Ming at the end of the hall, locking up. She hurriedly ran water over her hands, grabbed some paper towels, wiped furiously.
His footsteps drew closer.
She stepped out, pretending she'd just come from the bathroom, glanced at him with a bit of caution.
He had one arm shrugged into his coat, a dark navy oversized single-breasted thing. He pulled at the collar, gave her the briefest look, and strode toward the elevators.
She held her breath and trailed after him.
The two of them stood, side by side but worlds apart, in the bright elevator lobby. Neither looked at the other. The silence was thick.
Du Ruo carefully pulled her notebook from her backpack, the crimson-and-gold leaf rubbing tucked safe inside.
Her breath caught, she was cradling it like it was treasure.
The elevator arrived. He stepped in first; she darted in right on his heels.
The doors slid shut. The car began its slow descent.
In that tight silver box, she could hear her own heartbeat pounding louder and louder, thump, thump.
She clutched the notebook even tighter.
On the other side, Jing Ming leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, slouching almost bonelessly. His expression was unreadable, eyes lazily flicking to the numbers ticking down.
Ping.
First floor.
The doors parted. He strode out ahead, not even pretending to be polite or offer for her to go first.
She scrambled after him.
The autumn air had a chill, but it wasn't freezing, just crisp.
The campus at night was washed in a gentle, leafy perfume. The streetlights filtered down through the golden ginkgo branches, painting dappled pools of gold along the path. Everything was hazy, like a dream world spun in warm light.
It was so late there wasn't another soul on the walkways.
Here and there, couples sat together on the rough grass, murmuring secrets, heads bent close for kisses.
The nighttime path beneath the trees: the perfect setting for romance, and ambiguous things neither could name.
Du Ruo walked in step beside Jing Ming. Every so often, she'd sneak a look at his profile, he looked even paler in the shadows, features so sharp they might have been carved from marble by the streetlamp's glow. He was expressionless, as usual.
Even though he said nothing, she couldn't help a little happiness blooming inside, as if she'd just drunk a cup of something sweet and warm.
If only they could just keep walking together forever, even quietly, without a single word spoken.
They crossed a street awash in maple leaves. The lamp light filtered through the red foliage, and even the night itself seemed tinged crimson.
It was breathtaking.
She squeezed her notebook even tighter.
Unable to hold herself back, Du Ruo tipped her head up and blurted, "Look! Isn't it gorgeous?"
Jing Ming glanced up, gaze lingering for a moment before turning away.
Her heart hammered, she gathered her courage, pulled the leaf rubbing from her notebook, and held it out. "Oh, by the way, look at this."
Jing Ming spoke for the first time tonight. "What is it?"
"It's a maple leaf. Magic, huh? This really is how it looks, red, gold, green. Pretty, right?"
"Pretty," he said. Not clear if he meant it, or if he was just humoring her.
She stretched out her hand, offering it. "Here. For you."
Just then, they'd come to a quiet crosswalk beneath the trees. He paused, took the leaf pressing from her hand, studied it for a few moments in silence.
He eyed the leaf, then let his gaze sweep from head to toe, eyeing her up and down. "Why're you giving me this?"
Panic fluttered in Du Ruo's chest, but she forced a cheerful smile. "I just thought it was cute. It's not worth anything."
He clearly didn't buy it; one eyebrow arched in suspicion. His fingertip tapped the leaf, testing its texture.
She could hear each ragged breath she took, sharper every time.
"Why'd you give me this?" he asked again, rolling the leaf between his fingers.
Her heart flipped and tightened with the motion.
She looked up. In the shadows, his features were impossibly handsome, eyes inky black, utterly unreadable.
"It's just…something I picked up, I guess…"
He met her gaze for real, and then, for the first time, quirked a smirk. "Wait. You're not…into me, right?"
A rush of heat flooded her face. "Nope!" she blurted, panicking. "What are you even talking about?"
"Good," he said with a little laugh.
Instantly, that flush evaporated, gone cold.
"Don't catch feelings for me." His voice was gentle, almost kind. "I'm never going to like you back."
He handed the leaf pressing back, settling it in her palm.
Du Ruo felt frozen through; her heart shattered in that instant, she had no idea how she managed to keep standing, much less smile. "Wow, someone's full of themselves. I just thought it was a fun leaf. Wanted to thank you, that's all."
"Thank me for what?"
"For the laptop… Never mind. Thanks for mentioning it to your mom."
He seemed satisfied, raising his brows ever so slightly.
"It was nothing," he said offhandedly, drifting right past her with barely a glance.
He moved on quickly. She followed at first, falling more and more behind, step by step.
Gradually, the distance stretched between them; he was lost in thoughts of his project, completely unaware she'd fallen behind.
She slowed to a crawl.
At the corner, a gust of wind snatched the tri-colored leaf from her hands, sent it spinning, and in a blink, it vanished into the night.
She stood there for a long time, staring at the ground, never once looking for the leaf, never looking his way.
She couldn't even lift her head anymore.
All she saw were her worn-out sneakers, her faded jeans, the pills of lint marring the hem of her old jacket.
The world shimmered and swayed in watery light.
She tried to smile at herself, made a real effort, but it didn't help. She didn't have the strength to keep going. In that moment, it felt like all her courage, all her hopes and fears and love, had been torn out and left nothing behind.
Clutching a tree for support, she bent double, gulping in air, trying to suppress the ache clawing at her chest. But the next second, a tear splattered down.
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, stood up straight with what little stubbornness she had left, and dragged herself in the direction of her dorm.
But the moment she passed the empty playing field, she broke down for real.
She stumbled to a shadowy corner of the bleachers and sobbed, ugly and loud.
Why did she have to be so hopeless?
How did she end up crushing so hard on a guy like that?