Chapter 15

Su Xiaoxiao seemed to just notice Jin Qishan: “Wow, Jin Qishan, you got a haircut!”
Then she spoke with a slightly concerned tone to Jin Yongzhong: “Uncle, because Jin Qishan’s hair was too long, the teacher scolded him several times. He was even teased by classmates and nicknamed ‘Little Mess.’”
Before Jin Yongzhong could react, Su Xiaoxiao suddenly turned to Dong Xiaohong: “Auntie, you didn’t let Jin Qishan cut his hair because you didn’t want to spend money, right?”
Dong Xiaohong froze for a moment, then forced an awkward smile and hurriedly explained: “No, it’s not because I’m stingy with money, it’s just that…”
Before she could finish, Su Xiaoxiao had already grabbed Jin Yongzhong’s sleeve and continued: “Uncle, every time we buy food, Jin Qishan can only watch. And he doesn’t even have decent pencils, just stubby ones. His notebooks are worn out, but he keeps using them,”
This kid was clearly tattling!
Dong Xiaohong was fuming, smoke practically coming out of her ears: “You little brat, why do you always tell lies? I give Qishan pocket money,”
Su Xiaoxiao suddenly switched to a sweet, pleading expression: “Then give him a little more. It’s obvious it’s not enough.”
Jin Yongzhong paused briefly, then said: “Mm, yes, give him a bit more.”
Dong Xiaohong panicked: “What if Qishan spends it recklessly?”
Jin Yongzhong said firmly: “Qishan isn’t that kind of child. He won’t ask for more money if he doesn’t have enough. How could he spend it recklessly?”
Hearing the seriousness in Jin Yongzhong’s tone, Dong Xiaohong didn’t dare argue further. She just glared at Su Xiaoxiao, silently wishing the girl would leave quickly.
Su Xiaoxiao pouted, looking pitiful: “Uncle, Qishan is so poor. Maybe Auntie’s too busy and doesn’t give him the keys, so he often sits outside, can’t get in, and has nothing to eat. He won’t even come to our house,”
Dong Xiaohong’s rosy face instantly turned pale, and she panicked: “I, I was just busy with school back then,”
She never imagined anyone could mention this in front of Jin Yongzhong. Usually, when he returned, neighbors only praised how attentive she was to Jin Qishan.
“All right, Uncle knows now. Thank you.” Jin Yongzhong patted Su Xiaoxiao’s head. “I have a favor to ask. Qishan doesn’t talk much and is introverted; he might have trouble making friends at school. I hope you can look after him. If anyone bullies him, you must tell me.”
Su Xiaoxiao saluted and promised: “Don’t worry, Uncle, no problem!”
Su Xiaoxiao dared to tattle half-truthfully on Dong Xiaohong because she knew Jin Yongzhong truly cared for Jin Qishan. He just believed boys needed tougher discipline. Jin Qishan was naturally quiet, and Dong Xiaohong was such a skilled actress that everyone trusted her version of events more.
Jin Qishan was surprised when he heard Jin Yongzhong ask Su Xiaoxiao this favor. He looked up sharply and saw Jin Yongzhong also watching him, his gaze unusually gentle.
Once satisfied, Su Xiaoxiao tapped her head: “Oh! Grandma’s still waiting for me to buy buns!”
She grabbed the buns and ran off quickly, shouting as she went: “Bye-bye, Uncle!”
Once she was out of sight, Su Xiaoxiao stopped, stomping her feet indignantly, thinking her little act had been socially mortifying.
She wanted to die…
Watching Su Xiaoxiao bounce away, Jin Yongzhong sighed: “What a cute little girl.”
Dong Xiaohong pouted: “Talkative little thing.”
Jin Yongzhong patted Jin Qishan’s shoulder and walked ahead, murmuring: “Smart.”
Dong Xiaohong caught up, linking her arm with his: “This little mouth goes on and on all day, as if she’s the only one who can talk.”
Jin Yongzhong: “I think it’s great. If Qishan had half her brains, I’d feel at ease.”
Dong Xiaohong snorted, teasing: “If you like her, make Qishan marry her as his wife.”
Jin Yongzhong laughed: “That depends if she even likes Qishan.”
Dong Xiaohong thought: If that really happened, it’d just be disgusting for me, better change the subject quickly.
At that moment, neither of them looked back, or they would have seen the abnormal blush on Jin Qishan’s face.
Back home, Jin Yongzhong asked Jin Qishan to hand him his schoolbag. Dong Xiaohong’s heart skipped, she knew Jin Yongzhong had taken Su Xiaoxiao’s words to heart.
Jin Qishan handed over the bag, and Jin Yongzhong took it. The weight of the bag matched the heaviness in his heart.
The worn, gray bag had patches rubbed off, a broken zipper, and the strap crudely stitched with black thread.
Jin Yongzhong’s voice was hoarse: “Did you sew this yourself?”
Jin Qishan nodded.
Jin Yongzhong unzipped the bag and opened the pencil case. The moment he applied force, it broke apart, spilling a handful of stubby pencils on the floor.
Jin Yongzhong squatted to pick them up one by one; even the longest pencil wasn’t as long as his finger.
He hesitated about whether to continue looking, but hoped maybe this was just a coincidence.
The battered notebook couldn’t withstand his rough handling. Just flipping to the first page, it tore in half in his hands.
Every page had either worn-through holes or indelible marks, none were intact.
No matter how strong his heart, it couldn’t withstand the shock before him.
Jin Yongzhong had stayed in the army thinking he’d created a good environment for Jin Qishan, a loving mother, a family that didn’t worry about food or clothes.
Dong Xiaohong, fearing Jin Yongzhong’s anger, covered her face, staring at Jin Qishan in disbelief. Within three seconds, her eyes welled with tears, voice trembling: “Qishan, why didn’t you tell me? Sorry, I wasn’t careful enough,”
She knelt beside him, trying to hug him.
Jin Qishan stepped aside, coldly watching her performance. This scene wasn’t the first time.
Jin Yongzhong stood and took Jin Qishan’s hand, speaking to Dong Xiaohong calmly: “Xiaohong, from now on I’ll take 500 yuan from my salary each month for Qishan. How’s that?”
Jin Qishan’s head shot up in disbelief. Five hundred yuan was astronomical to him, many of his classmates didn’t even get 30 yuan a month in pocket money.
Dong Xiaohong momentarily forgot to cry, shocked beyond belief. Yet, although Jin Yongzhong phrased it as a discussion, his expression left no room for refusal.
She frowned slightly: “Isn’t 500 yuan too much for a little kid?”
“Not at all,” Jin Yongzhong said with a smile. “That money has many uses. He can buy snacks, stationery, clothes, or get a haircut. When you’re not home, he can even buy food himself. And Qishan isn’t little anymore. Even if he needs money, he wouldn’t dare ask you. I’ll have him keep track of every penny he spends to make sure he doesn’t waste it.”
Dong Xiaohong felt unhappy. Jin Yongzhong usually gave her his entire salary, so giving Jin Qishan 500 yuan meant she’d have 500 yuan less.
“All right, you go about your business,” Jin Yongzhong said. “Qishan and I will have a talk in the room.”
Dong Xiaohong felt a twinge of anxiety, what talk required them to go into the room? What couldn’t be said in front of her?
She nodded, stood up, and tried to appear calm despite her unease.
Jin Yongzhong led Jin Qishan into the room and closed the door.
“Qishan,” he asked gently, “besides money, is there anything else you need?”
Jin Qishan lowered his head and voiced his inner longing: “My mom.”
Jin Yongzhong froze, trembling as he pulled Jin Qishan into his arms, murmuring, “Qishan, I’m sorry.”
That night, Jin Yongzhong tossed and turned, unable to sleep. For the first time, he truly felt how much he had failed Jin Qishan.
Dong Xiaohong, feeling insecure, asked with a quivering voice, “Yongzhong, are you blaming me?”
Jin Yongzhong sighed: “No.”
What right did he have to blame Dong Xiaohong? Xiaohong had already lost her own child for Jin Qishan’s sake.