Chapter 17

In the afternoon math exam, Su Xiaoxiao held back deliberately, writing more slowly and even purposefully making a mistake on one mental arithmetic problem.
The math grade head had prepared exams from other grades, but seeing Su Xiaoxiao’s average math aptitude, they went unused.
Years later, whenever the math grade head remembered calling Su Xiaoxiao “average,” he regretted it deeply.
Since that exam, Yao Yulian looked at Su Xiaoxiao with affection. Even during class, she would smile at her and ask: “Xiaoxiao, what do you think?”
Su Xiaoxiao thought Yao Yulian’s attitude had shifted too fast. Just a couple of days ago, she had seemed worthless, and now she was priceless.
Ha, doesn’t that hurt your face?
When the monthly exam results came out, Su Xiaoxiao scored 100 in Chinese and 99.5 in math, ranking first in the entire grade.
Yao Yulian was ecstatic. Among all the students she had taught, this was the first to achieve first place in the grade. She was certain it wasn’t luck, this was Su Xiaoxiao’s true ability.
Wang Xiaoxia and Dai Lainan looked at her with admiration.
“Xiaoxiao, your grades are amazing! How did you study? I never saw you pay that much attention in class,” Wang Xiaoxia said.
Su Xiaoxiao smiled: “Maybe I studied secretly when you weren’t looking.”
“What? Studied secretly? Why would you have to hide your studying?” Dai Lainan asked, confused.
Wang Xiaoxia suddenly remembered: “Then why did Teacher Yao say you weren’t doing well before? I think it’s excellent, really outstanding.”
“Because of bias,” Su Xiaoxiao smiled. “Only by letting go of bias can we see things as they truly are.”
Both Wang Xiaoxia and Dai Lainan shook their heads, then nodded, signaling they didn’t fully understand but found it convincing.
Before arranging seats, Yao Yulian called Su Xiaoxiao outside with the ranking sheet in hand.
“Xiaoxiao, when you choose seats, sit with Cai Meng, okay?”
Cai Meng was Yao Yulian’s favorite in the class, pretty and top in Chinese, often scoring first. Her parents were intellectuals, working in government positions, a well-off family in S County.
Su Xiaoxiao shook her head: “No.”
Yao Yulian, still gentle: “Then who do you want to sit with?”
Su Xiaoxiao: “I haven’t decided yet.”
Before coming, Wang Xiaoxia and Dai Lainan had each held one of her arms, both wanting to sit with her.
Even a few classmates who usually didn’t speak much had come over, hoping to sit next to her.
Being so popular was a bit of a dilemma.
Yao Yulian said, “All right. Take a look at Cai Meng, Zang Xiaoya, and Xu Min. These are all good choices. Or you can pick one randomly for now, and if you’re not satisfied later, you can ask me to switch.”
Back in the classroom, Yao Yulian began calling out the scores and, once finished, had everyone line up at the door according to their ranking.
Su Xiaoxiao was first in line, with Cai Meng right behind her, followed by Zang Xiaoya and Xu Min.
Once everyone was lined up, Yao Yulian let the top student, Su Xiaoxiao, choose her seat first.
Su Xiaoxiao picked the window seat at the far end of the fourth row.
Yao Yulian asked, “Who do you want as your desk mate?”
Su Xiaoxiao scanned the other students. They all looked at her with hopeful expressions, as if their faces screamed: “Pick me! Pick me!”
Suddenly, her gaze landed on the least conspicuous student in the crowd: Jin Qishan. When their eyes met, Jin Qishan quickly looked down.
Su Xiaoxiao understood. Had Jin Qishan experienced this choice many times before? Always the one abandoned without hesitation?
Her heart moved slightly. She pointed at Jin Qishan: “I want to sit with Jin Qishan.”
Jin Qishan suddenly lifted his head, staring at her in disbelief.
Even Yao Yulian seemed unable to believe her ears: “Who?”
“Jin Qishan,” Su Xiaoxiao said firmly.
Yao Yulian forced a smile, but she couldn’t break the rule in front of the other students. “Who? Are you sure?”
“I want to sit with Jin Qishan,” Su Xiaoxiao repeated resolutely.
“Let me remind everyone: choosing a desk mate requires the other person’s consent,” Yao Yulian said. She tried to pressure Jin Qishan into refusing.
But he refused.
“I agree.” Jin Qishan said loudly.
Yao Yulian was reluctant but had no choice. She let them sit together for now, planning to separate them later if possible.
Once Su Xiaoxiao and Jin Qishan were seated, Yao Yulian whispered to Cai Meng, “Sit in the third row, in front of Xiaoxiao. If you don’t understand something in class, ask her.”
Cai Meng nodded obediently.
Zang Xiaoya wanted to sit in the fourth row too, thinking the spots Su Xiaoxiao chose must be lucky.
Wang Xiaoxia and Dai Lainan sat together, in the first row in front of Su Xiaoxiao due to their height.
Luo Zhi, who ranked 14th, was next to choose.
Feng Zihao waved: “Luo Zhi, let’s sit together.”
Seeing Luo Zhi’s bag full of snacks, he quickly agreed: “Okay, last row?”
Both tall, they usually sat in the back.
Feng Zihao shook his head, pointing to the seat behind Su Xiaoxiao: “I want to sit there.”
“Where?” Luo Zhi wondered if he’d misheard.
Feng Zihao whispered: “When you pick a seat, sit behind Jin Qishan. I’ll sit behind Su Xiaoxiao.”
Luo Zhi hesitated; the fifth row felt too far forward. He preferred the back.
Feng Zihao pressed: “Deal’s done. After school, come to my place. Eat whatever you want.”
“Really?” Luo Zhi’s eyes lit up. He happily agreed.
While everyone arranged their seats, Su Xiaoxiao sighed to Jin Qishan: “You know, if I hadn’t done well on this exam, I probably wouldn’t even have any friends.”
Jin Qishan ignored her. If “doing well” was only okay, then what did that make everyone else? He wasn’t sure if Su Xiaoxiao was showing off.
She continued, “I thought, it doesn’t matter if others look down on us. We can’t look down on ourselves. So every night, I study until eleven or twelve, just for this day, to speak with my ability.”
After finishing, she looked at Jin Qishan expectantly, waiting for praise.
He only glanced at her, his expression complicated,
What Su Xiaoxiao didn’t know was that recently Jin Yongzhong, worried Jin Qishan was too weak, had been taking him running and doing exercises downstairs every morning and evening.
Jin Qishan’s gaze would often drift toward Su Xiaoxiao’s window.
Over time, he noticed a pattern: she turned off the lights before 9:30 p.m. and never turned them on in the morning.
Jin Qishan thought: I suspect she’s showing off, but I have no proof,

 
Chapter 18: Decisions

Feng Zihao finally sat behind Su Xiaoxiao. Excitedly, he poked her back with a finger: “Su Xiaoxiao, I’m behind you now!”
Su Xiaoxiao glanced back, responding coldly, “Oh.”
Feng Zihao was puzzled. Why was she so cold to him, but so nice to Jin Qishan? What was he lacking?
Su Xiaoxiao teased Jin Qishan: “We’re deskmates now. We have to help each other.”
Feng Zihao quickly said: “Xiaoxiao, I want to help others too!”
Su Xiaoxiao looked at him curiously: why was he so excited?
She hesitated: “Then we’ll all help each other. I’ll supervise your studying.”
“What can I help with?” Feng Zihao asked.
“Maintain discipline. No talking.” she decided.
Feng Zihao immediately covered his mouth: “Okay, starting now, no one may talk.”
Luo Zhi snickered.
“What are you laughing at?” Feng Zihao glared.
“Nothing, nothing,” Luo Zhi hid his face in his book, secretly laughing at Feng Zihao’s silliness.
Once Yao Yulian finished arranging seats, class began.
Worried Jin Qishan might distract Su Xiaoxiao, she mostly stood beside him, only going to the board when necessary.
Jin Qishan never had a chance to drift off, he had never been the center of such attention.
Every time Yao Yulian asked a question, his heart skipped a beat.
Because she either said: “Jin Qishan, answer this question,” or “Xiaoxiao, answer this question.”
Often, he couldn’t answer and stumbled through responses.
But Su Xiaoxiao always answered correctly, effortlessly.
Seeing her bright and confident, Jin Qishan resolved silently: he would study hard, just like her.
After school, Grandma Su came to pick up Su Xiaoxiao, seen by Yao Yulian waiting at the school gate.
“You must be Xiaoxiao’s grandmother,” Yao Yulian said with a smile.
“Yes, yes! Yao teacher, is something wrong? Did Xiaoxiao cause trouble at school?”
“No, she’s such a sensible child,” Yao Yulian laughed. “I just wanted to tell you, Xiaoxiao scored first in the grade: 100 in Chinese, 99.5 in math.”
Grandma Su was astonished: “Yao teacher, you mean Su Xiaoxiao? Not some other Xiaoxiao?”
“Yes, Su Xiaoxiao,” Yao Yulian assured.
Grandma Su was overjoyed. Normally, Xiaoxiao wasn’t especially studious. First place already? Amazing! Smart little girl, unlike her dad.
Yao Yulian frowned slightly: “One more thing. Today students chose desk mates themselves, and Xiaoxiao chose Jin Qishan. You might not know him, but,”
Grandma Su smiled: “Jin Qishan? I know him! He lives right across from us. He’s a good kid, a good friend for Xiaoxiao.”
Yao Yulian had much to say but had to swallow it and let Grandma Su praise Jin Qishan.
Su Xiaoxiao being first in the grade delighted Grandma Su; that evening, the whole neighborhood knew. She practically wanted a megaphone to broadcast it.
On the way home, Grandma Su stopped at the neighborhood shop: “Xiaoxiao, sit tight. Grandma’s going in to buy something.”
Shop lady: “Oh! Xiaoxiao’s grandma! What’ll it be?”
Grandma Su: “Just looking for now.”
After a while: “Xiaoxiao’s teacher told me she got first in the grade in this monthly exam.”
Shop lady: “Really? First place?”
Grandma Su stood proudly: “Of course! She’s never made me worry about her studies.”
Shop lady, envious: “How did you teach her so well?”
Grandma Su smiled: “I didn’t. I never managed her studying. If she wants to, she does; if not, then not. Honestly, it’s her own brains.”
“Brains?” the shop lady asked. “Then what does Xiaoxiao usually eat?”
Grandma Su waved her hand: “She doesn’t fancy treats. Just regular meals and fruit.”
The shop lady nodded seriously. Then she pushed the girl beside her, eating a sausage: “No more sausages, or I’ll sew your mouth shut. Your brain’s clogged from eating too many.”
The girl pouted: “It’s natural.”
Later, seeing Grandma Su empty-handed, Su Xiaoxiao asked: “Grandma, what did you buy?”
Grandma Su rubbed her hands, laughing: “Nothing this time. Next time.”
…
Soon, the weather turned colder, and Jin Yongzhong’s vacation was ending.
The day before returning to the army, he met Su Xiaoxiao again.
He called out: “Xiaoxiao.”
“Uncle Jin, what is it?”
“Nothing. I just want to thank you for taking care of Qishan,” he said, patting her head, “and thank you for helping me make a decision.”
“Huh?” Su Xiaoxiao asked.
He smiled: “You’re young; you wouldn’t understand. Anyway, thank you.”
Two months later, Su Xiaoxiao would learn what decision he meant.
Originally, he planned to tell everyone he would stay in the army this year. But Su Xiaoxiao’s appearance changed his mind.
Jin Yongzhong had been a soldier for twelve years. Whenever discharge time came, he hesitated.
Especially after starting a family with Qishan, he wanted to fulfill both his duty as a father and husband while holding onto his ideal of serving his country. The most hesitant period was when Dong Xiaohong supported his ideal, taking care of Qishan.
He thought with Dong Xiaohong’s support, there were no worries. But it was Su Xiaoxiao who made him realize that Jin Qishan’s growth couldn’t happen without him. He was Qishan’s father, the person closest to him.
Su Xiaoxiao didn’t even realize that her actions had truly altered Jin Qishan’s life trajectory.