Chapter 36

So it was all in my head.
Su Xiaoxiao wheeled her bike out of the basement, only to run right into Jin Qishan coming down the stairs.
The memory of her dream flashed through her mind, and the blush returned instantly.
She wasn’t the type to get flustered easily, but with him, she could never control it.
Their eyes met. Panic struck. Her brain made a terrible decision, run.
She pushed her bike out the door, jumped on, and pedaled like her life depended on it.
Normally she cared about posture and elegance when cycling. Not today. She just wanted to get away.
Watching her retreating figure, Jin Qishan dropped his gaze and let out a small, bitter laugh.
Look at her, terrified of me.
Last night, when she’d grabbed his hand, he’d thought she’d felt the same way he did.
Apparently, he’d been imagining things.
By the time Su Xiaoxiao reached school, she was drenched in sweat.
Shen Hua stared. “Did you run all the way here?”
“No,” Su Xiaoxiao said, wiping her forehead. “I biked.”
Shen Hua glanced at the clock. “You’re early. What were you racing for? Someone chasing you?”
Su Xiaoxiao poured herself some water. “No one.”
Not long after, Jin Qishan walked in through the front door. His eyes immediately found her.
And she, seeing him, snapped her head down, avoiding his gaze completely.
Jin Qishan’s heart sank. She was avoiding him. She must have been embarrassed about last night. Maybe even disgusted.
As he passed Zhang Dongshan’s desk, Zhang grinned and held out his fist. “Yo, brother Shan”
Jin Qishan ignored him, walking straight past.
Zhang scratched his head in confusion. “Huh? What’s up with him today? Face all dark, won’t even look at me. Weird.”
Usually, they’d bump fists and joke around.
Hearing that, Su Xiaoxiao glanced back. Jin Qishan’s expression really did look stormy.
Her heart dropped. Is he mad at me? Because of last night? Because I went too far?
Of course. I was too forward. He must’ve thought it was weird.
She felt a pit open in her stomach. Serves me right for being delusional.
All day, she couldn’t focus. Even Shen Hua noticed.
“Xiaoxiao, what’s wrong? You’ve been gloomy all day, you barely ate lunch.”
Su Xiaoxiao stared at her paper, murmuring, “It’s nothing.”
“If something’s bothering you, tell me. I’ll keep your secret,” Shen Hua said, holding her hand gently. “You’re always smiling, but today, not once.”
Su Xiaoxiao touched her own face. “Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah.” Shen Hua nodded. “So what happened exactly?”
“Nothing serious,” Su Xiaoxiao muttered, resting her head on the desk. “I just did something stupid, and now I regret it.”
“Well,” Shen Hua said gently, “since it’s already done, don’t waste time regretting it. Think about it, can you still fix it somehow?”
Su Xiaoxiao sighed. “I don’t think so. My head’s a mess right now.”
“Alright,” Shen said with a sigh of her own. “Then take a bit of time to clear your mind.”
Su Xiaoxiao lay on her desk, turning her face toward Shen Hua one moment, away the next.
Watching her ponytail sway back and forth, Shen Hua couldn’t help but smile. Su Xiaoxiao rarely got this sentimental, it was almost funny seeing her like that.
Finally, Su Xiaoxiao couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Hua, if, if Shen Yi suddenly tried to kiss you, what would you do?”
Shen Hua’s face turned pink as she lowered her head. “Of course I’d say no. That’s not something people our age should be doing.”
“???”
Su Xiaoxiao stared, baffled. Why did she look so shy? It was just a hypothetical question!
“Okay, then what if, what if it was Zhang Dongshan who suddenly tried to kiss you?”
Shen’s eyes went wide. “Then I’d beat him to death!”
Su Xiaoxiao got it. So it depends on who it is.
She pressed on. “But what if, I mean if, he really wanted to?”
Shen Hua frowned. “Did he say something to you?”
“No! No!” Su Xiaoxiao sat up quickly, waving her hands in panic. “I was just giving an example!”
“Then I’ll give a real answer,” Shen said seriously. “If someone actually did that, I’d be disgusted. Doesn’t matter who it is, if it’s without my consent, it’s not okay.”
Su Xiaoxiao nodded. True. If it were someone she didn’t like trying to kiss her, she’d find it gross too.
So, did Jin Qishan find her gross now?
Her shoulders drooped, and she sighed softly, looking heartbroken.
Shen Hua’s eyes widened as a daring thought crossed her mind.
She pointed at Su Xiaoxiao. “Wait, don’t tell me you want to kiss someone?”
“Shh!” Su Xiaoxiao put a finger to her lips, looking around to make sure no one was paying attention. Everyone was focused on their work. Only then did she whisper, “Keep your voice down.”
“So, it is you?”
Su Xiaoxiao fidgeted. “No, it’s a friend of mine,”
Shen Hua, being as trusting as ever, believed her immediately.
She clutched her chest. “You scared me! I thought you meant you.”
“Heh, how could it be me?” Su Xiaoxiao laughed awkwardly.
But talking to Shen Hua hadn’t made her feel better, only more confused.

That night after evening study, Su Xiaoxiao deliberately took her time packing up.
She kept sneaking glances at Jin Qishan, watching to see if he’d wait for her.
If he waited, it would mean he wasn’t mad, that he liked her too.
If he left first, it meant he was angry, and he didn’t care at all.
In the end, Jin Qishan slung his backpack over one shoulder and walked straight out the back door.
So he doesn’t like me after all.
Su Xiaoxiao froze mid-motion, the book in her hands blurring as her eyes grew wet.
Shen Hua looked around. The classroom was empty except for the two of them.
“Still not done packing?”
“Almost,” Su Xiaoxiao mumbled, head down. Her voice wavered slightly.
Shen heard the difference immediately. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Su Xiaoxiao sniffed, forcing a small smile. “Nothing. Let’s go.”
“Okay.” Shen saw the redness around her eyes but didn’t press further. She simply followed quietly behind her.
At the door, Shen Hua turned off the front two rows of lights. The back ones had already been switched off by other students.
Su Xiaoxiao waited at the doorway, head bowed.
When Shen came out, she shut the door behind them and linked arms with Su Xiaoxiao as they went downstairs together.
Neither of them noticed the figure standing quietly in the shadows by the back door, Jin Qishan, watching.

Outside, Shen Hua still wasn’t sure what to do.
She thought about texting Jin Qishan to ask why he hadn’t waited for Su Xiaoxiao, but of course, her phone was sitting at home.
Just as she was fretting, she saw Shen Yi pushing his bicycle out of the bike shed.
Lately, he’d stopped having a driver pick him up and started biking to school himself. His bike was different too, no hand brakes, just manual control. A high-end racing model, Su Xiaoxiao had said it cost as much as a small car. Shen hadn’t believed it at first, but now she was just happy for him. Her friend seemed to be doing really well.
“Shen Yi!” she called out.
He turned and smiled when he saw them. “Why are you two out so late?”
“Something came up,” Shen said, glancing at Su Xiaoxiao, who still had her head down. “Actually, could I ask you for a favor?”
“Sure,” he said. “What is it?”
“It’s pretty late, and Xiaoxiao’s by herself. I don’t feel right letting her go home alone. Could you take her?”
“No problem.”
Su Xiaoxiao’s head shot up. “No need!”
“No,” Shen Hua said firmly. “You always make him take me home when you’re worried about me. Now it’s my turn to worry about you, why can’t he do the same?”
Su Xiaoxiao hesitated. Fair point, she couldn’t really argue without sounding hypocritical.
Shen Yi smiled. “I’m not in a rush anyway. I’ll take you home first.”
“Okay.” Su Xiaoxiao nodded, then looked at Shen Hua. “What about you?”
“I live close by,” Shen Hua said with a grin. “I’ll be fine. If I don’t go now, there won’t be anyone left on the road.”
And with that, she jogged off into the night, leaving Su Xiaoxiao standing there beside Shen Yi, the air between them just a little awkward.
“Mm, bye-bye.”
Shen Hua waved cheerfully at them. “Bye-bye!”
With that, she tugged at her backpack straps and skipped away, humming as she went.
Just as she rounded the corner toward the teaching building, she saw Jin Qishan emerge from the darkness inside.
“Hey, what are you…”
Before she could finish, he brushed past her without a glance, not even acknowledging her greeting.
If it weren’t for his darkened expression, brows furrowed, eyes cold, the air around him practically freezing, Shen Hua might’ve thought he simply hadn’t heard her.
Watching him stride away, she muttered to herself, “Did those two have a fight or something? One’s about to cry, and the other looks like he wants to murder someone,”
The streets were almost empty now, the night air still and quiet.
It was the first time after evening study that Su Xiaoxiao didn’t walk home with Jin Qishan.
The moon was the same, the streetlights were the same, but the person beside her wasn’t.
He didn’t like her.
She’d imagined it all.
God, how embarrassing,
The more she thought about it, the more her eyes burned.
By the time they reached her neighborhood gate, her throat was tight. “I’m home,” she murmured hoarsely. “You should go.”
Shen Yi reached into his bag and handed her a tissue. “Here, wipe your face, or your family will worry.”
The small gesture made her heart warm despite everything. “Thanks.”
She pressed the tissue to her eyes, tears silently soaking through.
She told herself she was crying because she was embarrassed, not because Jin Qishan didn’t like her.
So what if he didn’t? There were plenty of people who would.
Shen Yi gently patted her back.
Just then, a bike flashed past them, Jin Qishan. He glanced their way as he rode by, face unreadable.
Shen Yi noticed him too and opened his mouth to say hi, but Jin Qishan sped off, expression ice-cold.
When her tears finally dried, Su Xiaoxiao wiped her cheeks with the tissue and let out a long breath, forcing a smile. “Heh, it’s fine.”
Shen Yi said. “Then, it’s time to go home.”
“Mm.”
After parking her bike in the basement, Su Xiaoxiao trudged toward the stairs, too drained to make enough noise to trigger the motion sensor lights.
The dark, empty stairwell matched her mood perfectly.
At the second-floor landing, a tall shadow loomed in the corner.
Su Xiaoxiao nearly jumped out of her skin, until her eyes adjusted and she saw it was Jin Qishan.
Why was he standing there?
Before she could say anything, he brushed past her, his shoulder grazing hers, and headed up the stairs. A door slammed shut above.
A second later, the stairwell lights flicked on, washing everything in bright white.
It wasn’t her imagination. He’d really been there.