Chapter 51

When Li Fu came out, Madam Qian’s voice grew softer. She cried, “If there had been something between me and him, I wouldn’t have married you again. My dealings with him were truly all for Wanwan.”
Li Fu stared until she dropped her eyes in discomfort, then asked, “So you mean I didn’t take good enough care of Wanwan?”
“No,” Madam Qian suddenly realized that a usually conciliatory person, once cornered, could become irrational. “You did care for her, but sometimes you need to use extreme measures. You’re too straight-laced…”
“You used extreme measures and Wanwan got her wish and married into the Hu family. And now?”
At that question Madam Qian’s face went pale and she cried out in grief and anger, “You only ever said the Hu family wasn’t the ideal match, you never said she mustn’t marry them. Now that Wanwan’s in trouble you ask why I didn’t stop it sooner? If I had known it would turn out like this I wouldn’t have let her marry…”
Li Fu raised a hand to cut her off. “Do you think you have a clear conscience?”
“I have a clear conscience.” Madam Qian looked her in the eye, her tone earnest.
“Fine. Right now I'm upset and don't want to see you. Since there's nothing between you two, go home first. When I've thought it through I'll come fetch you.” Li Fu waved his hand and went inside.
After all that, she was still being told to go home.
Madam Qian wasn't unwilling to go back; she did worry about her father being alone and wanted to return to care for him. But that should be because Li Fu agreed to it, not because he was angry and shoving her out now. Besides, there was a bigger reason: her father was old and could no longer work the fields. He was now entirely supported by her foster brother, the father of Qian Laiman. Being elderly, he didn't cook much, so meals were prepared and sent over every day. It made sense for someone supporting his father to do that. But why should they be delivering meals for her?
So if she had to go back to that household, she wouldn't even have grain. And since she had married nearby, there was no room for her in her parents' house, where would she live?
“Fu Li, what am I supposed to eat if I go back?” She only hesitated a moment, Li Fu had already gone in, and she hurried after him two steps. “I can't very well go eat at my eldest brother's house, can I?”
Li Fu had already shut the door. “Over the years I've done plenty for them. Can't they spare a few days' meals for you?”
It looked like Li Fu had no mind to host his daughter. Li Qinghe turned to leave, and before she went out she glanced back. “Pay back the money you lent your younger brother soon. My father won't ask, but if he comes down with any aches and pains, I won't be putting up the cash.”
Madam Qian ground her teeth in anger. “He's in the county now. If you've got the nerve, go ask him for it yourself.”
“Don't think I won't.” Li Qinghe sneered. “In a few days I'll be going to sell fish; stopping by to find him would be on my way. If I make a scene at his door, do you think he'll still have any good name left?”
Madam Qian was taken aback.
That evening Li Qinghe finished the meal and, after a moment's thought, carried some over to Li Fu.
The yard was all in darkness; not even a candle was lit. At first glance it looked as if no one were home. At the doorway she saw Madam Qian squatting with her knees hugged to her chest, looking very pitiable.
Li Qinghe pretended not to notice and carried the dishes straight into the main room. “Father, dinner.”
After a long while, Li Fu came out from the inner room, his expression softened. Seeing the food on the table he sighed, “If I'm hungry I know how to cook for myself. There's no need to go out of your way to bring me food.”
“The meat you gave me yesterday, and those buns, there were a few I couldn't finish and they'd gone sour. I won't bring you meals anymore starting tomorrow.” Li Qinghe said this as she set the table.
There were three large buns in all and two small side dishes. Li Fu sat at the table, picked up a bun, and asked, “Have you eaten?”
“I have.” Li Qinghe sat opposite him and said in a low voice, “Father, she's still outside. Do you really mean to send her back?”
“Mind your own business.” Li Fu glared at her, not angrily, finished a bun, then said, “I know what I'm doing.”
Fine, then don't. Li Qinghe changed the subject. “I'm planning to move. On the fifth day of next month I'll move into the new house over there and live there.” She glanced outside as if remembering something. “If you'd like, you can go stay there for a bit.”
Li Fu hummed. “That's good. Live well; don't make your mother and me worry. You don't need to mind my affairs. Don't bring meals like this anymore, be careful Chengkang won't be pleased.”
Not a chance.
There was no need to explain. When he finished eating, Li Qinghe cleared the bowls and went out, not even glancing at Madam Qian still crouched by the door.
She refused to believe Li Fu would skip cooking and eating so she'd have to do it alone. She only wanted him to give in; now that he had eaten his fill and didn't need the food, let him sit there hungry if he wanted, she wouldn't feed him.
On the fifth day of the tenth month, Zhou Chengkang and his wife celebrated moving into their new home. Since it had been announced publicly, they had to begin preparations. This wasn't like their wedding, which had been run mainly by Mrs. Zhou; this time she could help, but Li Qinghe didn't want every little thing to fall to her. You can't set a precedent for everything. Mrs. Zhou was already in her forties, had worked hard for decades and raised several children, she deserved a rest.
The two of them were busy with preparations and spent most of their time at the new house. One day when they came back and were cooking, Mrs. Zhou came into the kitchen to help Li Qinghe tend the fire.
“Qinghe, our fifth girl will be fifteen at New Year. I want to find her a match.”
Li Qinghe was surprised; it felt sudden. “Arranging a match is important, take it slowly. Fifth Sister is shy; if she's wronged she won't speak up and will be taken advantage of. We need to find a straightforward family, preferably one with only one son.”
She launched into a string of remarks. Mrs. Zhou listened and grew even more placid. “There have been calls from families whose son is an only child.”
Li Qinghe suddenly understood. For a girl like her, who had several older brothers, some families would particularly want such a bride: many brothers meant support, and some would think that if Mrs. Zhou could bear sons, perhaps Fifth Sister might too.
In peasant households a son mattered greatly. Someone like Li Fu who didn't care was so only because his heart belonged to Madam Qian. Otherwise, families that took in a son-in-law, like Li Qingmiao's, would still want to keep the lineage.
“Do as you think best, Mother.” Li Qinghe paused, then added, “But Fifth Sister should be consulted too, after all, it's her life.”
Fifth Sister had just reached the doorway; hearing this she blushed and withdrew.
When the meal was ready, Li Qinghe invited Mrs. Zhou to eat with them, but she declined. She and Zhou Chengkang sat across from each other for dinner; afterwards he cleared the dishes to wash.
Li Qinghe turned to fetch some clothes to mend and saw Fifth Sister standing timidly at her door holding a shoe sole. Fifth Sister usually spoke very little, a shy girl, and since she had come into the household she hadn't been seen confiding in anyone.
“Fifth Sister, come in and speak.” Li Qinghe called her in. “What are you doing standing at the door?”
Fifth Sister smiled shyly and sat opposite her. “Sister-in-law, if you don't have time to sew on the soles, I can help.”
“All right.” Li Qinghe agreed at once; besides, when she married they could always add a little more to her dowry.
The room was quiet. When Zhou Chengkang came back from washing the dishes he found his sister and his wife sitting facing each other; they looked like they had something to say. He didn’t go in, he turned and went to the pond.
Li Qinghe glanced at her several times. Seeing her hesitate to speak, she finally asked, “Fifth sister, did you want to talk to me about something?”
“Yes...” Fifth sister kept her head bowed. “Today I heard Mother talking with you about my marriage. I... ”
“What is it?” Li Qinghe asked patiently.
“I know someone. He’s a good man. I want to marry him, it’s just that...” Fifth sister bit her lip. “He’s too poor.”
Li Qinghe was taken aback. Fifth sister spent most of her time at home; she hadn’t seemed different at all. Li couldn’t help asking, “Who is it?”
Seeing her hold her lip silently, Li Qinghe said softly, “Tell me. I’ll ask Mother, what if she agrees?”
Fifth sister kept her head bowed and answered in a thin voice, “It’s Zhao Dashan.”
Her voice was small, but Li Qinghe heard clearly, and her face went hard to read.
Zhao Dashan was from Wang Village too, but everyone said his fate was hard. They said when his mother gave birth to him she died as soon as he was born; not long after, his father fell off a mountain and died on the spot. Fortunately he had an uncle, who had just married and had no children. Seeing the older brother and his wife dead, the uncle took the child in. Not long after, the uncle’s wife became pregnant, but when she gave birth she delivered a daughter and died as well.
After that the uncle raised his nephew and daughter without remarrying, but when Zhao Dashan was eleven and his cousin nine, the uncle fell ill and died too. Villagers said that the deaths of his parents and uncle and aunt were all because of him, that he brought misfortune on them. His cousin, now fifteen, was still weakly; no one came to propose, and people whispered he might die at any moment.
Although Zhao Dashan was seventeen this year, no one had set him up for marriage.
In theory his father and uncle’s land and house should have gone to him, so life shouldn’t have been hard, but his cousin kept falling ill, and they sold all the land. The house... that was sold too.
It was the house he had sold that the Yang family from town later moved into. The house Zhao Dashan sold had been his own, right next door to the Xu family.
Now he didn’t even have a house. He and his cousin were living in his late uncle’s home, scraping by by going up the mountain to chop wood to sell to the town’s taverns and wealthy households. If he married and then moved into that house, it would be improper.
For a man like that, even if Li Qinghe wanted to help Fifth sister, she wouldn’t dare bring it up to Mother. This wasn’t a match, it was an affront to Fifth sister.
Li Qinghe looked down at the girl whose head was the only thing visible; she gathered her words and cleared her throat. “Fifth sister, how do you know him? Why do you want to marry him? Mother probably won’t agree to this.”
At this, Fifth sister’s shoulders slumped and her hands slowed in their stitching. “Once when I went up the mountain to chop wood he carried my bundle back for me. I thought... he was very strong, carrying a load as if it were featherlight. He looked back several times to see if I was keeping up, so thoughtful. A man like him could shoulder a family. Mother has it too hard.”
It seemed their father had died young; that blow had affected Fifth sister deeply and shaped her choice of whom to marry. Li Qinghe fell silent for a moment, then asked, “So he doesn’t know you want to marry him, does he?”
Fifth sister didn’t answer.
Li Qinghe turned things over in her mind, then asked, “Do you want someone who can support a household, or is it that you must have him?”
“I don’t know.” After a long moment the girl’s thin voice came again. “Whenever I think of marrying, he’s the only one who comes to mind.”