Chapter 59

That night Li Fu came home rubbing his full belly. At the gate he saw someone lying on the ground in the yard; from the shape he recognized her and sighed, “What now?”
Madam Qian’s voice was weak. “I was starving and went out to find something to eat. My legs gave out and I couldn’t stand. Where did you go?” Her voice trailed off and her body did not move.
Li Fu walked past her. “I had things to do. Tomorrow get up early and make breakfast yourself, and feed the chickens. I’ve got work over there.”
Saying that, he went to the kitchen to heat water and wash.
Madam Qian watched the kitchen candlelight and felt her stomach ache even more.
Li Fu heated the water and ignored her calls for food. He was exhausted from swinging the mallet all day and soon fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, when he left, he took a spare set of clothes. Madam Qian had purposely woken early, in fact she hadn't slept much the night before, and seeing him she couldn't help asking, "You're not coming back today?"
Li Fu glanced at her. "It depends."
This time Madam Qian really panicked. "I'm this sick, are you really okay with that?"
"As long as you can move about." Li Fu said, and he was already gone; behind him came the sound of Madam Qian sobbing.
When he reached Li Qinghe's house he saw the table set and, not bothering with formalities, sat down to eat with Zhou Chengkang.
Seeing him, Li Qinghe smiled. "Dad, is Aunt Qian feeling any better?"
Li Fu was sipping porridge and sighed. "It's in her head. That's something she has to work out herself; it won't get better for now."
After all, Madam Qian used to even pinch silver to help support Qian Laiwen. Now the roots of the old Qian family were gone, who wouldn't be resentful?
But this sulking has gone on far too long. He's dead and that's that, what else can be done? Not trying to live a decent life... months have passed and she still can't get over it.
He said openly, "It's nothing; give it a couple days, maybe she'll be fine."
Li Qinghe agreed, it's a heartache, which means she's not physically ill. There's no way she'll just lie down and starve to death!
If she did starve herself to death, then fine, she'd accept it.
They had him bring his clothes over mainly because his garments were tattered; they wanted him to change so they could mend them, the holes everywhere looked too shabby.
On the third day of making mud bricks, Yu Yan came with needle and thread, whispering, "Your Aunt Qian got up yesterday and cooked for herself. She looked like she might faint, it made me break out in a cold sweat watching her."
That was a bit much. She said she was ill, and Li Fu had been caring for her for so long, he even kept her out of the spring plowing. Now that things were busy, Li Fu wouldn't coddle her; she should have taken the recovery and stopped. If she was cured, that should be it, why keep acting this way?
If a stranger saw it, they'd think Li Fu had abandoned her to come help his daughter.
Not to mention Li Qinghe had deliberately fetched her father out. If Li Fu had wanted to stay home to look after her, he would have refused to come. By going along with it, he was really saying he didn't want to indulge her, this was just an excuse to get him here.
Li Qinghe hesitated a while, still puzzled. "What do you think she's after?" she asked.
Yu Yan propped her chin on her hand, pondered, then shook her head. "I can't make sense of it. It looks as if she wants to die from this illness, as if she doesn't want to live."
After talking for some time Yu Yan took her leave and went to the kitchen to cook. She couldn't help with the brickmaking; lately, aside from chopping wood she had nothing else to do. Zhou Chengkang wouldn't allow her to chop wood herself, so she settled on preparing meals.
When she went out to check the pond she found Madam Qian drifting over. She really did look ill, her complexion was off, she had lost a lot of weight, and her lips were pale. "Qinghe, is your father here?"
"He's here, helping me make bricks," Li Qinghe answered. "Aunt Qian, what's wrong? You're so sick-looking."
She clutched her chest. "My heart feels heavy."
Li Qinghe was at a loss, what kind of ailment is 'a heavy heart'?
But as Li Fu had said, this was an improvement: a few days ago she couldn't get out of bed, and now she could walk this far on her own, it wasn't a short distance from the Li house.
She clutched her chest and tried to step inside. She had been here on the day they moved in, but before she'd fully set foot over the threshold the big yellow dog at the door barked fiercely, scaring her back a couple steps.
Her retreat was quick, she actually seemed all right, at least not as feeble as she pretended. Li Qinghe called for the big dog; it wagged its tail and went back into its kennel.
Only then did Madam Qian come in. Hearing the activity she headed toward the brickmaking area, and Li Qinghe followed.
"I really feel terrible. I didn't want to come this far; I fell several times along the way, nearly collapsed."
She had, in fact, almost fallen several times.
She punctuated her words with big gasps. Li Qinghe stood aside while Zhou Chengkang kept working, not wanting to listen.
Li Fu worked seriously, then heard her say, "You haven't spoken to me these past two days. I have something to discuss with you. With father and mother gone, Laiwen gone too, and no children between us, life feels emptier and emptier, I really have thoughts of not wanting to live..."
Noticing Li Qinghe nearby, Li Fu cleared his throat. "If there's something, say it."
Li Qinghe felt awkward too, but Madam Qian looked set for a serious talk and her curiosity got the better of her. She poured a bowl of tea, truth be told, she was a little thirsty.
"My cousin on the Qian side, the one called Laifu, just had a baby a few days ago. They already have five children. I was thinking... we could ask our great-uncle to register that child under Laiwen's name, and the two of us could take the baby in and raise him..."
Li Qinghe took a sip of tea and, upon hearing this, spewed it out with a sudden snort and began to choke. "Cough, cough, cough..."
Zhou Chengkang rushed over to pat her back. "Why didn't you take it slow?"
She coughed until tears streamed down. Looking up at him with watery eyes, slow? As if this is something you can take slowly?
No sane person would think that, two people nearing forty, taking in a baby to raise?
She wasn't the only one, Li Fu across from them had a face as if he'd seen a ghost. "The two of us, take a child back to raise?"
Madam Qian glanced at the still-coughing Li Qinghe and then nodded. "Having a child gives you something to look forward to. Just the thought of it eases this blocked feeling in my heart."
In other words, if they brought that child home, her sickness would be cured.
Li Fu swung his hammer again. "If thinking about it makes you feel better, then keep thinking."
This time Madam Qian was taken aback; then she watched tears well up and fall, "You've changed."
Li Qinghe couldn't stand it and shot back, "My father's nearly forty in a couple of years; if things move faster on my side, he could be a grandfather by next year. You wanting to bring a child home to raise, you've got to be out of your mind!"
Madam Qian was taken aback. Although Li Qinghe had been brusque before, she’d never openly insulted her. She drew her pretty brows into a frown. "My business with your father, what right do you, a junior, have to butt in? Are you afraid that if someone brings a baby home your father won’t be able to help you with the work?" Saying that, she cast a loaded look toward the sun-drying bricks nearby.
Li Qinghe pushed her. "Exactly! Unless you can give birth yourself, nobody else's child will be allowed into the Li household. Do you think my father isn't busy enough? Spoiling you one person is already more than enough, and you want to bring another child here, have you been lying around so long your brain’s gone soft?"
She spoke as she shoved her out the gate. "I'm warning you, get rid of that notion now. Leave heirs for the Qian family? What does the Qian family have left? Just a shabby house, isn't it?"
"You..." Those words genuinely hurt Madam Qian. "What gives you the right to speak about the Qian family like that?"
"No wonder there's been all this fuss lately, turns out you've been nursing this idea. So unless someone brings a baby home your illness won't get better, is that it? Fine, don't get better. My father, I'll look after him myself." Li Qinghe raised her hand and shut the door. "Now go, or I'll let Da Huang bite you."
Since Madam Qian came to the house, the Lis hadn't kept a dog, because Madam Qian was truly afraid; even of a palm-sized pup she would keep well away before feeling at ease.
Watching Madam Qian turn away through the crack of the door, Li Qinghe frowned and went to the backyard. She couldn't help but say, "Father, this time you really can't agree to it. Raising a child, you're so busy and she's so lazy; in the end it'll all fall to you, won't it?"
"I won't agree." Li Fu answered seriously. "If the child isn't my own, looking after just Wanwan is already enough. Nothing else, absolutely impossible."
Madam Qian really didn't come back. Li Fu turned up at dawn every day and only returned after dark; he didn't eat at home anyway.
They were building pigsties; beyond the courtyard wall by the overgrown meadow, the Yang family's new house had already started, and they'd hired many workers, twenty-five wen a day each, though wages wouldn't be paid until next New Year. Because it was the slack season many people were available to help, so while the pigsties here weren't finished yet, the house over there had already gone up.
In her previous life Li Qinghe didn't know whether the Yangs had ever built a house here, but it was true this area had always been a patch of wild grass. Her grave was on the hill opposite, visible every day, and no one had ever bought this wasteland to cultivate.
When the house was finished the moving date was announced: March 28.
In such a hurry?
They were moving before the house had fully dried, astonishing. The Yangs did have a yard in the village; it wasn't much, but it was enough to give them a place to stay.
Hardly had they heard the news when Yang Lanrou arrived.
In both her former and current lives, because of Xu Changjie, Li Qinghe had never spoken to her calmly.
Now she came calling. Though Li Qinghe had long since cast Xu Changjie aside, seeing the person responsible for her death still left her burning with anger.
Her face was stern, while Yang Lanrou kept on that soft, gentle manner. "Qinghe, I'll be your neighbor from now on. On March 28, do come have a cup of wine with us, help me make it lively. Thank you, thank you."
At the end she even put on a show, cupping her hands in a formal gesture.
Seeing her smile, Li Qinghe smiled too. "Alright."
They'd be neighbors now; not going would look like she was singling the Yangs out.
Originally, when she had saved Xu Changjie, many people accused her of having designs on him. Later, Yang Lanrou and Xu Changjie were openly seen together, apparently they intended to marry. If she now snubbed the Yangs, people might think she couldn't let go and was being petty for refusing to attend.
That wouldn't do.
When she agreed, Yang Lanrou peered inside. "I hear your place is well fixed up, may I have a look?"
"Of course." Li Qinghe led her in. Before Yang had even stepped inside, Da Huang at the door began to bark.
Da Huang acted as if he would rush out and bite, terrifying Yang Lanrou into going pale and freezing in her tracks. "I just remembered I have something to do, let's leave it for another day," she said.
Then she turned and hurried off.
Li Qinghe watched her go, crouched by Da Huang, stroked his head and grinned with satisfaction. "Good boy. I'll give you a bone to gnaw in a bit."