Chapter 19

That day, Shen Qing made her way to Xuanji Pavilion at first light. She buried herself in the library for the better part of the day, turning through nearly half of the collection, yet still could not find the familiar book.
She even began to wonder if she had misremembered the title after so many years. But after thinking it over from every angle, she still felt sure a book with a title as simple as Xuan Ji couldn’t be wrong, how could she have misremembered that?
Just as she was puzzling over it, the wind chimes hanging over the library door rang softly, their clear notes breaking the silence inside.
Shen Qing looked up at the sound. A young novice disciple of Xuanji Pavilion had just stepped in, about the age for basic studies, still very small.
The child’s hair was tied with a piece of blue cloth. He wore Xuanji Pavilion’s distinctive blue robes, cheeks still round with baby fat, his features bright and lively.
Shen Qing’s eyes curved into crescents as she waved him over.
“Little junior brother, come here.”
The moment he saw Shen Qing in her water-blue ruqun, smiling with hazy, languid eyes as she beckoned him over, he froze on the spot. His clean, porcelain-pale face flushed scarlet in an instant.
He crept over to her on tiptoe and gave a careful salute. “Rangchen greets Senior Sister.”
The name stirred a faint sense of familiarity in Shen Qing, but in her last life, she hadn’t come back to Xuanji Pavilion much around this time, let alone stepped into the library.
By the time she returned again, the Shen family had already been massacred. She’d been swallowed whole by her own grief and despair, barely able to keep herself together, much less remember anyone else’s name.
So she asked, “Are you a new disciple?”
Gu Rangchen nodded. “My elder brother is swamped with government business and never rests from his labors for the court. With no time to look after me, he sent me to Xuanji Pavilion to learn martial and Daoist arts.”
Shen Qing was a little surprised. Most officials and nobles sent their children to the state academies and private colleges, where dedicated tutors handled both study and martial training. Only a few were exceptions.
For example, Fourth Prince Li Daoxuan, who had personally requested to enter Dongshan Temple as a disciple; or the Prince of Chengqin, who, unable to bear watching his son idle away his days with certain spoiled young scions, weighed the choice between Dongshan Temple, where Master You resided, and Xuanji Pavilion, whose seat-holder’s post was empty, and finally threw his son into Dongshan Temple to suffer.
Compared to Dongshan Temple, Xuanji Pavilion, lacking its former head to hold the fort, truly had a declining, sunset feel these days and was far outshone by Dongshan Temple’s rising prestige. Even with a prodigy like Liu Jiyue sitting in charge, he was still too You’and his seniority too shallow.
Anyone who’d looked into it at all generally preferred to send their heirs to Dongshan Temple.
Shen Qing asked curiously, “Why come to my Xuanji Pavilion instead of going to Dongshan Temple to cultivate in peace?”
At that, Gu Rangchen grew a little bashful. “Elder Brother said that while Dongshan Temple is very good, it has far too many rules. People aren’t measuring sticks; everyone has moods. Stay there long enough, and even a block of wood might be stifled to death.”
He rubbed his nose. “Xuanji Pavilion only has Senior Brother Jiyue presiding, but he’s kind-hearted and gentle as jade, and terribly protective. He can’t bear to punish his own disciples too harshly. If I… if I happened to make a mistake, Senior Brother would surely just laugh and let it slide…”
With his little joke, the gloom that had been weighing on Shen Qing’s chest from not finding Xuan Ji lifted somewhat. She burst out laughing, even reached over to pat him on the head. “Little junior brother, your elder brother’s eye for people is spot on. That’s exactly what our senior brother is like.”
Put plainly, her senior brother was a total mother hen of a man, always worrying himself sick over everyone, but never hard-hearted enough to truly punish his own.
After dabbing away the tears at the corners of her eyes, Shen Qing propped her chin in her soft, pale hands and asked her final question. “And your elder brother is… who exactly?”
Facing Shen Qing, Gu Rangchen didn’t hesitate at all before laying out his family background. “Elder Brother currently serves in the Censorate as Censor-in-Chief. His name is Gu Ze.”
The two characters “Gu Ze” chiseled a warning straight into Shen Qing’s heart. She had almost forgotten about the entanglement between Li You’and Gu Ze.
Gu Ze had entered office through the imperial exam, and at only twenty-two, had already risen to Vice Censor-in-Chief. Steady and solemn, upright and incorruptible, he spoke blunt truths on the court when impeaching powerful nobles and high ministers who overstepped their bounds.
His manner might seem excessively rigid and unyielding, but he was truly one of the few clean officials of the Li dynasty, worthy of being called a man of rare integrity.
This also reminded Shen Qing that when Gu Ze died, depressed and ill in her last life, someone had indeed made a scene at the gates of the Princess’s manor, his twelve-year-old younger brother.
But after the guards dragged him away, she never heard of him again. She had no idea where Gu Rangchen had gone.
Once this matter was settled, she would have to keep a closer eye on Li Yu, lest the girl sneak around behind her back again and get entangled with Gu Ze.
Shen Qing rubbed at her temples, feeling a headache coming on.
Ever since her rebirth, a mountain of unfinished business had piled up in her heart, waiting for her to sort it out one by one.
All of it sat there, pressing on her chest until it sprouted bitterness and mold. The fierce sunlight pouring in through the lattice windows baked the rot until it soured and stank, unseen and colorless, slowly decaying.
That layered, festering rot eventually seeped out along the sweat at her temples and spine, sliding down beneath her snow-white skin, soaking into her inner robes and blooming into dark patches.
Shen Qing took out a cool silk handkerchief to wipe away the sweat beading on her chin, then flicked her sleeves.
Gu Rangchen hesitated. “Senior Sister… are you very hot?”
Shen Qing nodded crisply. “Hot is putting it lightly. Any longer under this sun and your senior sister will melt away like a pile of Su Mountain.”
Gu Rangchen glanced at the rows of towering windows lining the library and frowned in distress.
To prevent the books from growing damp and molding too soon, Xuanji Pavilion had specially built the library’s windows as tall, decorative lattice panels that ran all the way up to the ceiling. Once the sun rose, the thin layer of window silk did little to block the light.
After half a day of this, Shen Qing was already at her limit. Given that her body was naturally delicate and more sensitive to heat and cold than others, the fact that she could still stand here chatting was already the result of sheer stubbornness.
She eyed the baby-faced child in front of her, utterly without guilt, a sly smile curling her lips. “Junior Brother Rangchen, aren’t you hot?”
Gu Rangchen had no idea her stomach was already full of schemes, so he answered honestly, “Not really.” In fact, he was a little confused as to why she was so hot.
“What a pity,” Shen Qing sighed. “I was just thinking of going to buy something to cool off, like Su Mountain drizzled with honey, or some refreshing huai-leaf cold noodles…”
Every time she said a name, Gu Rangchen could practically taste it on his tongue.
By the time she finished, Shen Qing’s eyes curved again. “Junior Brother Rangchen, you truly don’t want any?” She patted the embroidered pouch at her wrist. “I have plenty of private money. So much I can’t even spend it all.”
Gu Rangchen’s defenses began to crumble. “B-but Elder Brother said I mustn’t accept other people’s kindness for nothing…”
Seeing she was about to hook him, Shen Qing said, “Then it won’t be for nothing. All you have to do is help Senior Sister find a book. Once you do, not only will I treat you to Su Mountain, I’ll buy you candied treats and rock-sugar sweets as a reward.”
Gu Rangchen pressed his lips together, torn. Before Elder Brother passed the examinations, the once-prosperous Gu clan had already dwindled to almost nothing by their generation. Their parents were gone, Mother had died when they were young, and the vast family estate had shrunk down to just the two of them. Life had not been easy.
In addition to studying, Elder Brother had to find ways to put food on the table. He worked himself to the bone just to raise Gu Rangchen to this age. The boy had never truly suffered, but Su Mountain and rock sugar were luxuries he tasted only during New Year or festivals.
Even after Elder Brother became Vice Censor-in-Chief, that never changed. Beyond their basic expenses, whatever was left of his salary each month was donated to porridge sheds so the homeless could have hot gruel to ward off hunger.
So when it came to the treats Shen Qing mentioned, he was undeniably tempted.
But her condition seemed far too easy, which made him feel deeply undeserving.
He’d seen Elder Brother’s toil with his own eyes. When he wasn’t keeping accounts as a clerk in a shop, he planted vegetables at home to sell the next year for extra coin.
A single bowl of Su Mountain cost half a tael of silver, something only the wealthy could afford. Even if they sold every last vegetable from the courtyard plot, they’d barely earn a hundred copper coins. Elder Brother would have to grow vegetables for five years just to afford half a tael.
How could he possibly accept that?
Shen Qing had no idea how much he’d thought through in such a short time. “This book is extremely important to me,” she said. “If you can help me find it, you’ll be removing a great weight from my heart. That Su Mountain is something you absolutely deserve.”
She didn’t waste any more words. Rising from the grand master’s chair, she steered the little boy toward the rows of bookcases, pointing to a few on the left. “I’ve already searched those shelves and found nothing.” Then she let her hand drop. “The rest is all yours.”
Shen Qing lifted her skirts, ready to slip away. At the door, something occurred to her and she turned back. “Oh, right, the book is called Xuan Ji. Just the two characters you’re thinking of.”
“Jingle, jingle, ”
With her hair in double knots and purple jade bells trembling at her temples, the girl stepped lightly out the door. The scent of magnolia she left behind filled the room, and the wind chimes kept ringing clear and bright.
Gu Rangchen blinked. A rare light of delight appeared on his childish face. He thought, The senior sister I met today is really nice. Super nice.
“Cuizhi!” Shen Qing wiped the sweat from her face as she stepped out of Xuanji Pavilion.
Her maid, who had been waiting for some time, saw her mistress come out drenched in sweat and wrinkled her brows in distress. “Did you get what you came for, my lady? Let’s hurry back. Master and Madam have already had ice chests and bamboo mats set out.”
Everyone in the household knew how much more sensitive Shen Qing was to heat and cold than most.
Hearing this, Shen Qing fought back the urge to immediately fling herself onto her own bed and ordered, “I haven’t found it yet. Go send someone to buy some Su Mountain. Oh, and children’s sweets, buy lots.”
Cuizhi bit her lip and nodded. Seeing the fine beads of sweat still gathering at Shen Qing’s brow, she turned back to the carriage to fetch a gauze veil and a few cool silk handkerchiefs, handing them over before going to carry out Shen Qing’s instructions.
If not for Xuanji Pavilion’s rule that idle outsiders were forbidden entry, and the fact that only inner disciples were allowed into the library, Shen Qing would have brought a dozen servants to turn the place upside down looking for the book.
Thinking this, and unable to bear the heat any longer, Shen Qing lowered the veil over her face and headed back to her own room.
It would take time for the servants to buy and deliver everything. The library was far too hot. Her own room was cool and quiet, and she was exhausted to the bone. She might as well rest there for a while.
Senior Brother had been gone along the Huai River for more than half a month and still hadn’t returned. If she couldn’t find Xuan Ji today, she would have to ask him about it when he came back.
She really couldn’t remember exactly where she’d found Xuan Ji in her previous life. Besides, the library’s collection changed every month as new books were added; it was entirely possible Xuan Ji simply hadn’t been brought in yet.
As it turned out, she’d worried too much.
She had barely lain down for a short rest when Gu Rangchen arrived, clutching a yellowed old volume.
When Shen Qing opened the door, the first thing she saw was the two characters Xuan Ji stamped on the cover. She lit up at once, she’d finally found it!
Right on cue, Cuizhi’s people arrived with the Su Mountain and an assortment of sweets. Shen Qing shoved everything into Gu Rangchen’s hands in one go and ruffled his fluffy hair. “Good junior brother, these are all for you! Next time, I’ll take you to see a puppet show!”
Gu Rangchen left with his eyes shining, and Shen Qing hugged the book to her chest, shuffled along in her slippers, and darted back onto the bed.
The crystal wind chime above her head, carved in a magnolia motif, turned gently but made no sound. The room fell silent for a while, save for the soft rustle of a girl turning pages.
Suddenly, Shen Qing lifted the book closer. “Found it!”
The volume recorded all sorts of dazzling yet largely impractical arrays. Only on the very last page did a diagram of two phoenixes circling each other, beak to tail, appear before her eyes, with a few large characters marked beside it: Twin Wings Rebirth-Array.
The accompanying explanation began with the array’s origin.
It told of a Daoist adept in formations long ago who strayed onto an evil path and slaughtered living beings, thereby incurring Heaven’s wrath. His fate was sealed, his life would be one of widowed solitude, and in the end his destiny indeed fulfilled those four lonely words.
He met a woman who stirred his heart for a lifetime. Concealing his identity, he fell in love with her, married her, and only when she became pregnant was his status as a demonic cultivator exposed.
Even more dramatic, among the people he had slaughtered in his evil days was none other than his wife’s parents.
On learning the truth, his wife was struck with grief so violent it disturbed her pregnancy, and she miscarried in her rage.
Failing to kill the demonic Daoist, torn between love and hatred, she ended things herself in despair.
Regretting too late, the man, having lost his wife, was consumed by hopelessness. Using the two of their constitutions as the basis, he poured his lifetime of learning into creating the Twin-Wings Rebirth Array, in order to exchange it for a chance at his wife’s rebirth.
Shen Qing couldn’t quite fathom why such a heaven-defying array would be written out so openly.
Perhaps the conditions it required were so harsh that it had become something almost impossible to achieve?
Looking at it now, the fact that she had managed to seize such an opportunity really was sheer coincidence.
Shen Qing kept flipping on, and soon saw the lines she already knew by heart:
“The Twin-Wings Rebirth Array is set when Mars Guards the Heart, at the close of the Eight Nodes, within the Palace of Li, with extreme yin and pure yang. Blood is crossed as an oath; yin waxes, yang wanes. When yin prevails, nirvana is achieved.”
It matched every condition of her rebirth perfectly.
“Yet to defy Heaven and alter fate is to invite backlash.”
Those few characters made Shen Qing’s heart tighten. She couldn’t help but think of the weasel demon’s ambush, and of Wuming suddenly appearing on Mt. Li.
Had she guessed right? That rebirth would bring backlash, perhaps altering her fate and making her especially attractive to demons and spirits?
But for the moment, the text still hadn’t mentioned anything clearly about changes in fortune.
“After rebirth, yin and yang shall be tightly bound; the yin body will gradually decline, and within three years must perish. To extend life, yin and yang must join.”
She wouldn’t live past three years? And the solution was the union of yin and yang?